Arizona Sucks

Well, if the terrible weather, growing illegal population, increasing crime, worsening traffic conditions, declining economy, pathetic school system, kidnappings galore, and surprisingly low number of jobs available wasn’t enough to keep you out of one of the most unsafe and depressing states in the entire country… Now, you can rest assured knowing that even your luggage is not safe whenever you are fortunate enough to be flying back into Phoenix. That’s right – another baggage thief has been arrested for stealing luggage from Phoenix’s own Sky Harbor International Airport. In case you missed the news, there was another separate arrest back in November of last year for over 1000 pieces of luggage. And I’m certain these two arrests aren’t just isolated incidents, but just the only two who have managed to get caught thus far. At Sky Harbor, anyone can walk right in and walk right out of the baggage claim areas with zero questions asked. Security is minimal at best at Sky Harbor and surely baggage theft happens a lot more often than it should. It is a pretty bad situation for travelers when the security count is already so low, and the ones who are ‘working’ are often seen chatting with others, standing around, reading the paper, or just dicking around. Would it be too much to ask to have them at least pay attention to what is going on around them?

Obviously, the chance that your luggage actually gets stolen is pretty minimal. In fact, if you live and work in the state of Arizona you probably can’t afford anything worth stealing anyways. (Quick tip: if you plan on stealing luggage from Sky Harbor, you probably want to target the luggage belonging to out-of-state passengers.) The main point I am getting at here is to point out the desperation acts which have been and are still on the rise across Arizona. Arizona is famous for its dangerous combination of limited jobs, uneducated and under-qualified job applicants, drug addicts, and overpopulation. Thousands upon thousands of people in Arizona are either unemployed or underemployed due to the lack of jobs in the area or a lack of education. People are desperate. In fact, people are really desperate out here and will do unheard of crimes just to make ends meet or to get their fix. It really is a lethal combination and everyone in Arizona ends up suffering.

When you live in a city full of uneducated meth heads who have no respect for anyone, crimes like this are going to happen. Arizona is one of the few spots in the country where people will steal luggage, shoot the elderly on a morning stroll, kill a family’s dog, and rob the Girl Scouts of their cookies just to try and make a quick buck. Be careful out there. Crime is going up in Arizona, and the number of police officers out there is going down. Great idea, isn’t it? Nah…

A recent visitor comment stated just this and I would think most of us would completely agree. While, day in and day out, living in Arizona provides us with a dirty, disgusting, desert oasis lifestyle that I would not wish on my worst enemy, it is when you go just about anywhere else and return that you realize it is a millions time worse than you had ever thought. I mean, you can’t even miss the indistinguishable Phoenix aroma as soon as you land at Sky Harbor. And then it hits you, you are back in hell.

Rude, selfish, inconsiderate, pushy Arizona people surround you as you wait for your bags. These were the same nutjobs who almost trampled you rushing to get off the plane for some reason. Is there a prize for being the first to arrive at baggage claim?

You step outside with your luggage, and take in a nice, big gulp of the hot, smoggy, dusty, polluted Phoenix air.

All of a sudden, your sinuses start acting up and you realize it takes some effort to breathe. Your eyes begin to water from the pollution. Your skin begins to tingle as an overall sense of griminess overcomes you.

You get to your desired mode of transportation and you realize that even in a parking garage, your vehicle is still hot as hell. You feel both lucky and fortunate if all wheels are still there and all windows are intact.

You get back on the road and after nearly being taken out twice while still within the Airport boundaries, you make it to your desired freeway. It’s all downhill from there as you dodge drunks, uninsured illegals, trash, debris, & worn tires, and radar cameras every couple miles.

14 miles and 90 minutes later – after passing 8 speed cameras, 3 red light cameras, and dodging two more near accidents you are finally home.

Home Sweet Home! Wait! Is it? You arrive home to your white trash neighbors being escorted out by police from their meth lab next door. Down the street is a Border Patrol van chasing a late-90’s Dodge Caravan full of illegals speeding away from another home on your block. Oh, and your property values are still next to nothing since the rest of your neighbors are in foreclosure. Welcome home.

Are you ready to leave again?

So, what’s keeping you here? Your career? Poor real estate decisions? How many people can actually admit to being here because they like it?