Arizona Sucks

It would appear as though spring has arrived in the Phoenix area, with daytime high temperatures in the 70-85 degree range for this past week and this trend is expected to continue. The weather, baseball spring training, and a number of local shootings is all we have really been hearing about over the last couple weeks out here. Everyone, as usual, is constantly talking about how nice the weather is going to be and how this is weather worth bragging about to everyone up north and all the usual Arizona nonsense whenever it comes to the climate out here. Quotes such as ‘this is why we live here’ and ‘I’ll put up with the summers for weather like this’ are heard at least five times a day. People in Phoenix just love to talk about the weather and it is brought up more than you could ever imagine. Don’t have an answer or don’t know what to say or just want to hear yourself talk? Bring up the weather – it almost always works in handling any situation you will find yourself in out here.

And I will agree that the month or so of mild temperatures we get during the spring is a nice change of pace from the horrible summers and uncertain winter months we get here in Arizona. However, this one month of spring-like temperatures is just one of about two months of the entire year where I would say the weather in Arizona is even close to approaching the levels of greatness that so many in Arizona brag about YEAR ROUND. It is really only during these couple months of the year that we get nice and mild daytime temperatures, with a pleasant cool down overnight. Days like these just aren’t around for very long out here so you really should try and get in all the hiking, golfing, gardening, washing the cars, barbecuing, and anything else that goes on outdoors while you still can without having to put your life at risk. These days have to be taken advantage of as much as possible in Arizona, because we all know what is right around the corner…

As the temperature keeps on climbing, you can’t help but think about the 100 degree days which are only just a month or so away. Before we know it, everyone will be essentially locked in their homes day-after-day in order to avoid the excessive heat. The five or so months of summer in Arizona gets really old, really quick. Sure, you can drive in any direction and escape the extremes, but you still know it will be waiting for you as soon as you get back. Does anyone else out there view the increasing temperatures as simply a warning sign that the five months of dreadful, blistering, uncomfortable, and depressing weather is on its way?

I’m pretty sure most anywhere can claim they have at least two months of really nice weather a year, and that is without having to endure a seemingly endless summer every year….

If you’ve kept up with this blog and many of the reader comments, then you’ve surely seen just how many times we’ve read somebody’s story about how his or her quality of life was turned upside down upon relocating to Arizona. A lot of people get suckered into moving out here with the false claims of nice weather, cheap homes, ton of activities, great & plentiful jobs, and a high quality of life. People are easily fooled when they see the palm trees, sunny skies, pools, and nicely manicured golf courses on their TVs or in Arizona relocation guides. Unfortunately, move out here for just a week or two and you will quickly realize that you are really in for a unique and unpleasant treat. Arizona is one of those rare places where you can try your hardest to make the most of it, and you will still be left feeling worn out, defeated, misplaced, disgusted, and just sick to your stomach. There’s just something about this place and it’s scorching weather, discouraging landscape, horrifying crimes, monotony, and lack of opportunity that will really get you down and will keep you down until you can finally escape.

Many, many people have reported moving to Arizona and realizing just how unfriendly and lacking the job market really is out here. There are NO good jobs out here – well, of course there are a few but you probably aren’t going to be fortunate enough to land one of these positions. There was an abundance of fast food, retail, landscaping, call center, and other ’strip mall jobs’ in recent years. However, as it became more clear that Arizona was greatly overbuilt in the past few years, the number of these jobs are on the decline while the number of applicants is on the rise. Not a good situation for you if you had dreamed of moving to Arizona and introducing yourself to the fast-paced world of Wendys. It might already be pretty clear to a lot of people, but I cannot stress enough that nobody should ever move to Arizona to look for a job or even with a job offer in hand. You might wonder why it might be a bad idea to move to Arizona even with a job already lined up, but the answer could not be simpler. It is not worth the risk or the hassle of relocating to Arizona. If you move out here even with a great job and get laid off, it will be next to impossible to find a similar position out here. You will be forced to relocate once again or take a huge pay cut with another organization out here. That’s certainly no fun and Arizona does have some of the lowest unemployment benefits in the country should you need to file a claim. Don’t be fooled by news reports and talk of Arizona having a hot job market – it certainly doesn’t now and probably never will.

You probably thought it was bad enough when you moved to Arizona and you couldn’t find work or were stuck taking a position far below your skill level. Once you landed a job somewhere and somehow out here, you probably had the pleasure of dealing with commuting and just driving out here in general. You soon realized one day as you were driving to your dead end job, just how terrible all the construction, traffic and the drivers are out here. Other states may have more traffic, but Arizona certainly has some of the worst drivers in the country. Arizona drivers are famous for driving drunk, driving in the left lane, cutting off others, having no concept of merging, blocking people who need to get past them, not signaling, throwing caution & trash out the window, running red lights seconds after the signal change, and just about anything else you can imagine. Living in Arizona will allow you to witness some of the worst accidents you have seen in your life and the opportunity to sit in the subsequent traffic backups. Driving in Arizona is a lot like playing Mario Kart, except out here you will be forced to dodge illegals, drunks, tire debris, ladders, and old mattresses. Driving in Arizona will anger, frustrate, and quite possibly kill you.

Managing to make it out of the traffic alive and into your first day of work, you encountered some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. People in Arizona are like one giant herd of sheep with no direction, no ambition, no work ethic, and piss poor attitudes. People out here don’t care about you, and you shouldn’t care about them. Most relationships in Arizona are built solely on getting ahead or taking advantage of a situation. People in Arizona who work hard and share their own ideas will only be taken advantage of. It really doesn’t matter whether you are working the drive thru or retail or with a small business or in a corporate office building in Arizona – you will still be surrounded by these worthless, uneducated, drunk cowards. And to make matters worse, it is almost always these people who manage to get ahead out here. You will NOT grow your career in Arizona and shouldn’t even bother coming out here and giving it a try.

You surely thought that even though your job and commute in Arizona was terrible enough, you can at least have a great time at home and out on the weekends. Right? C’mon now, you have a brand new house in far, far East Mesa with a pool, and you live right next to a half vacant strip mall. Life could not sound much better to the majority of these uneducated fools in Arizona. Although, you quickly realized that life in an Arizona subdivision, as well as everyone else living in Arizona will manage to piss you off in one way or another. People out here struggle with menial tasks including grocery shopping, fueling their car, checking their mail, and even walking their dog. The majority of retail and restaurant workers out here are lazy, not knowledgeable, pushy, and just unpleasant to deal with. There is no common courtesy out here and people tend to just do what they feel when they feel like doing it. From having landscaping crews show up well before the sun comes up to tying up a barking dog for hours on end to listening to awful, deafening Mexican music late into the night to people of all ages road racing down the streets of your subdivision – you WILL encounter it all in Arizona. People in Arizona will drag you down to their level and at some point you will probably just give up and take it. The longer you spend in Arizona, it becomes more and more likely that you will be that jackass who is out with a chainsaw at 5AM, drunk, naked, and cutting down that dead palm tree in your yard. Don’t let it happen to you – leave now while you can still think rationally.

And then there’s the weather. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse out here, April arrives and so do the 100 degree days. No matter how you slice it or justify it, the fact is that the weather in Arizona is miserable for close to half the year. Don’t be fooled by the idiots who tell you there are just three hot months, and then nine months filled with the best and most beautiful weather in the world. This is not the case, was never the case, and will never be the case. Being in Arizona is close to unbearable from May to the beginning of October. The winter months are a mixture of mild and cold, but one thing is certain and that is that you won’t regularly be laying out by your pool in December like some people would like to have you believe. Tell me how a state where you are just about forced to lock yourself indoors for months on end has beautiful weather worth bragging about. The bright, hot, miserable, dusty, and lengthy Arizona summers will take a toll on your mental and physical health.

You really can try your hardest to make living in Arizona work for you. You can do the opposite of everyone else in Arizona and be friendly, work hard, go out and see what Arizona has to offer, think for yourself, drink in moderation, and strive to get ahead. Unfortunately, you will quickly realize that it is all for nothing as you sit in a dead end job and fail to build any true friendships or meaningful relationships out here. Arizona will quickly turn even the best of people into depressed, worthless, demotivated zombies who look, think, and act like everyone else. Try and justify it all you want but there is no reason for settling down out here. Ever thought your life couldn’t get any worse? Come to Arizona because it can and it will. How quick did you experience the downturn in quality of life since moving to Arizona? The first week?

It is just about the middle of September, and a quick look at the 10 day forecast for the Phoenix area shows highs over 100 degrees for the next week and a half. Night time lows have finally dipped into the 70s, but it is still quite hot during the days here. A lot of people who get suckered in to moving to Phoenix are often quite shocked when they realize it will still be October, and we are still fighting with temperatures that do top the 100 degree mark. It probably isn’t until near the end of October, that you can really say goodbye to the extreme heat in Arizona for a few months.

A lot of people are use to summers that only average about three months per year. It can be quite frightening when you move here and realize that the summers in Arizona not only last at least two months longer than your typical summer elsewhere, but the summers here are that much hotter and just downright boring. Surviving an Arizona summer year after year is really not something to take lightly – it really does affect the millions of residents out here and it shows especially on the road, at work, in restaurants, and at the store. The summers out here are nothing but vicious and it absolutely will take its toll on you if you choose to suffer through summer after summer out here. Just imagine having to lock yourself indoors for nearly six months a year – it is too out to be outside, and many days it is downright unsafe to be outside. If you have children, you really have no choice but to keep them indoors and many just put them in front of the television all day. Arizona summers tend to bring out the worst in people and just an all around feeling of disgust.

Many outsiders are use to looking forward to summer and the warmer weather, outdoor activities, the summer holidays, and barbecues with family. In Arizona, you pretty much spend your summers stuck inside wanting to blow your head off. And somehow a lot of Arizona residents still think the weather out here is worth bragging about for nine months a year. I know we have a ton of meth heads, alcoholics, and pill poppers in Arizona, but, really, what are these people on?

Have you thought about relocating to Arizona and wondered what the average weather was like through out the year? Or have you moved to Arizona and realized that the summers are a lot longer and hotter than your Arizona Realtor had you believing? Maybe the winters aren’t as warm and comfortable as you imagined? For some reason, whenever people talk about the weather anywhere they love bringing up the average temperatures going month by month. While, average temperatures do in fact give you a vague idea of what to expect, can you really rely on these Arizona average temperatures to tell you the whole story?

Unfortunately, in a place like Arizona that has experienced so much growth and construction and everything else in recent years, you really cannot count on these given temperatures which are often averaged from the daily temperatures over the last 100 years or so. As the Phoenix area blew up into a sprawling mess of concrete, asphalt, strip malls, houses, and plastic people it really solidified hotter days and nights for the entire area. All these buildings, homes, and roadways have no choice but to retain all that heat and energy from the never-ending sunny days, and then this heat is slowly radiated back into the atmosphere. Thus, creating a situation where it ends up even hotter during the day than it ever was in the past and there is no relief when the sun goes down either. The entire Phoenix area has unquestionably become a great deal warmer now than when the area was significantly less populated and built up. What really makes this scenario quite interesting is how the entire Phoenix economy was tied to increased growth – so, just to ensure the city’s survival it meant more buildings, roadways, and houses and with this came the higher temperatures for everyone to enjoy.

If you were to only look at the averages, then Arizona summers suddenly look quite a bit more survivable. Averages would tell you that Arizona summers have highs only in the very low 100s with night time lows hovering around the 80 degree mark. Unfortunately, the truth is that is is getting hotter every summer across the Phoenix area and this past July was the hottest month ever recorded in Arizona. It is now early September, and we are still suffering from temperatures approaching 110 degrees. These summers, you rarely see days where the high temperature is below 105-108 degrees and the number of days where the temperature is over the 110 mark seem to be increasing every year. Night time lows during an Arizona summer are often closer to the uppers 80s with quite a few nights not even getting out of the 90s.

You can’t really put into words just how hot, brutal, and long the summers are in Arizona so if you are thinking about relocating here, you might want to make an extended trip during the peak of summer to see how bad it really is. Whatever you do, don’t simply rely on the average temperatures given to you and certainly don’t move here or anywhere just for the weather.

It’s about that time of the year again – the four months of close to unbearable weather are now upon us. You can hear AC units buzzing all around and the majority of outdoor activities are being put on hold for the next few months. High temperatures are expected to be around 107 degrees by the middle of the coming week. And for those of you who haven’t experienced an Arizona summer yet – it will get another 10 or so degrees warmer in a month or two. Are the two beautiful months of the year really worth it when you have to endure a long and hot Arizona summer each year? Do some people actually enjoy this insane heat?

The weather in Arizona is a hot topic – always talked about and, believe it or not, some people actually choose to brag about it. Could it be that the two months of near perfect weather a year is all the Valley has going for it? Certainly one can find perfect weather for two months (if not more) in any other state across the United States.

The weather for the majority of the year is hot, dry, miserable, and borderline unlivable. On average, over 100 days a year the mercury in the Phoenix suburbs climbs well over the 100 degree mark. Last year, Phoenix residents could brag about 40 consecutive days of temperatures over 110 degrees. Imagine having to waste close to a third of each and every year of your life, sitting inside with your AC continually running just to keep the inside temperature of your home below the 90 degree mark. You can’t spend any time outside and you are stuck running from an air conditioned car to an air conditioned building. You can just forget about any and all outdoor activities for this entire time period. If you must, golfing rates during this time of the year are extremely affordable – I wonder why?

You may have heard that the winters here are short and mild. This could not be any further from the truth – of course, the winters are comparatively mild if you have a history of shoveling snow from your driveway for a quarter of the year. Winter days are more often than not gloomy and depressing. Temperatures rarely make it out of the 50s and the nighttime lows are constantly flirting with the freezing mark. You probably won’t see any snow, but will notice the increase in clouds, wind, and precipitation.

No matter how hard they may try, it is just not possible to justify living somewhere where close to a third of the year is nothing but unbearable. Is it really worth it?