Arizona Sucks

It certainly was another interesting week here in Arizona no matter where you stand politically or on the issues that have unfolded. This afternoon Arizona Governor Jan Brewer signed a controversial law that will make it a crime under Arizona state law to be in the country illegally. Police officers will now be required to question people about their immigration if they have a reason to suspect someone is here illegally. Those critical of this bill fear it will lead to an increase in racial profiling and discrimination. Civil rights groups, as well as Hispanic groups in Arizona and beyond are expressing absolute disbelief over the signing of such a law. Supporters of the bill say it will crack down on Arizona’s growing illegal immigrant population and keep the residents of Arizona safer. Supposedly Arizona officers will receive special training in how to avoid racial profiling, but how is a state that is perpetually broke going to afford this training?

Illegal immigration in Arizona is certainly a growing concern, and immigration control needs to be taken more seriously in a border state like Arizona where there are already so few jobs, limited water, too many people, no money, and a lackluster economy. With that said, do you think this is the right way to address our concerns over illegals in Arizona? What is your opinion and what do you think will come from all of this? Share your feelings below.

After almost being taken out by a land monster merging across three lanes of traffic without even looking this morning, I knew it was time to address how piss poor Arizona drivers are once again. I can’t even begin to count how many times one of these idiots has cut me off or almost merged right into me, and then will look up from their breakfast burrito with an absolutely startled, oblivious, and blank gaze as to why I am laying on the horn. It really makes me wonder how people out here can be so clueless and unconcerned about what is going on around them while they are moving along at 70 miles per hour and maneuvering a vehicle which is far from indestructible should they hit something or someone. Put down the coffee, throw out the cigarettes, put on your makeup at home, don’t eat burritos for breakfast, stop texting, don’t drive drunk, and keep an eye on what is going on in front of you and behind you. Incompetence reigns supreme in Arizona and it is certainly no different when driving on the roads and highways out here.

The majority of the driving problems across Arizona stem from the unfortunate fact that very few in Arizona really understand the whole picture when it comes to anything. Arizona locals do not seem to grasp the fact that their awful driving affects everyone else that happens to be on the roadways and in typical Arizona fashion, most drivers are only concerned with themselves and could care less about how their driving antics might affect anyone else. Remember, if you cause an accident because you are driving like an idiot — not only did you ruin the day of the person you hit, but you also ruined it for everyone else that has to sit in the traffic catastrophe YOU created.

A few examples… if the traffic in front of you is stopped, then you probably want to start slowing down at some point. If the traffic signal in front of you just turned red, then flooring it to sit at the light will not and cannot get you to your destination any faster. Merging into someone is not an effective way of making a safe lane change. If the traffic on the highway is going 70 and you decide to merge on at 45, then there is probably going to be a problem. If highway patrol has someone pulled over on the other side of the road, you do not need to slam on your brakes because he isn’t running radar or even paying attention to you. If you are about to pass a speed camera, you do not need to slam on your brakes (unless you were way over the speed limit) and then continue to go 15 miles under the speed limit for the next 500 yards. If most everybody else happens to have their headlights on, then you probably should turn your lights on too. If you are in the left lane and someone faster comes up behind you, then you need to get over whenever it is safe to do so (and no, it doesn’t matter if you are going the speed limit or already 25 mph over). If you end up at a four way stop, the person with the most lifted truck does not get to go first. If you think driving 10-15 mph less than the rest of traffic makes you a safer driver, then you have zero idea how terribly wrong you are. If the first thing you do when you get on the highway is immediately merge all the way over to the left lane just to hang out there, then you are an idiot.

The general incompetence of Arizona’s population really shines on the roadways out here and it really is quite terrifying being surrounded by clueless locals who are navigating the equivalent of meandering missiles that are just waiting to ruin your day. Driving in Arizona is a startling experience and is best avoided as much as possible, which is certainly tough in an area where everything is so spread out and public transportation is a lost cause. I could easily put up a blog entry or two a day based on my experiences driving out here, but it would be more fun if you shared some of your stories below!

You might be able to put up with the blandness, unpleasant weather, excessive crime, limited opportunity, and everything else gone wrong in Arizona, but you have to be wondering how you are going to manage to make it out alive having to constantly deal with these drifting, despicable creatures who also call Arizona home? Unfortunately, I am referring to the human beings who barely manage to exist out here and not the assortment of roaches, spiders, snakes, termites, scorpions, and our other fun filled desert friends who are also waiting to ruin your day. Arizona residents are really something else and they aren’t afraid of showing it, or maybe it could be that they just don’t care how stupid they habitually make themselves and those associated with them look. It is this fanatical collection of individuals out here that will really make you wonder where everything in the world went terribly wrong.

Moving to Arizona is a culture shock to many as they quickly realize the culture out here is tied to drugs, drinking, lifted trucks, immaturity, and simply getting by. If you want to spend the rest of your years as if you were still in the frat house while rocking Tommy Bahama flower print shirts, drinking Bud Lights by the pool all day, and banging desperate coke fiends then Arizona really might be the place for you. If you have even the slightest yearning to get ahead, want to know your neighbors, desire real friendships & relationships, or want to make more than 35K a year, then you probably want to avoid the state of Arizona at all costs. If you actually can refer to yourself as a mature, planning-for-the-future, and responsible adult with dreams and aspirations then moving to Arizona will be a challenge for you as it will be next to impossible for you to fit in with all the social misfits, habitual drunks, lethargic co-workers, nameless neighbors, and all the other abnormal social groups out here. You will be frustrated, bored, and shocked at how so many people can be so appalling in Arizona. And here might be why…..

Arizona’s population is described by many to be soulless, fake, conceited, replaceable, unsociable, snobby, gullible, incompetent, insecure, lazy, cowardly, empty, selfish, superficial, judgmental, rude, irrational, know-it-all, slobs, deadbeats, useless, con-artists … in short, a wicked conglomeration of some of the worst this fine country (and Mexico) has to offer. You will encounter a part of all that has gone wrong with humankind in every aspect of your life in Arizona.

Clueless Co-workers – somehow you might actually have one of the few jobs left out here. It probably isn’t a great job, but it gets you by at least until you are able to escape this landfill we call Arizona. You will quickly and regrettably learn that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting ahead with this Arizona organization by working hard, putting in long hours when needed, and sharing your ideas to save the organization time and money, while improving processes. In Arizona, you advance your career through happy hours that end up lasting until the bars close, sleeping around with your superiors, joining the office Fantasy Baseball league, and black mail. Hard work doesn’t pay out here and just spend a few hours working out here and you will soon realize how crystal clear this is. People out here are lazy, they show up late, take a lot of sick days, drink a lot of coffee, and spend most of their time dicking around while at work. Mondays are spent sharing stories about how black out drunk everyone got over the weekend and who they slept with (this holds true for the married with kids, 40 plus crew too). Tuesday through Thursdays are usually all about catching up on the social networking sites or seeing what is new on Youtube. Thursdays come around and all day is spent planning where to head for happy hour that night and which place has the best Corona specials. If you move to Arizona, make sure you remember that Corona is a premium beverage out here and should be ordered whenever it is available. Friday mornings arrive too soon with a nasty hangover which quickly subsides once the talk of who is drinking what and where that night and what is going on Saturday night begins. Every week is the same out here folks, well unless there is a holiday weekend and then there will be even more drinking stories going around. Arizona is a great place if you have no real credentials, just want to work a dead end job, do the bare minimum, meet new drinking buddies, and are happy just getting by. Want to advance a career or get a career off the ground – avoid Arizona at all costs or be prepared to spend a lot of time at happy hour or on your knees in some nutjob’s office.

Nameless Neighbors – Arizona is one of those rare places where nobody knows their neighbors or wants to get to know their neighbors. You might think this is normal in a rural area where houses are miles apart and in a situation such as that, it might just be. However, in metropolitan Phoenix almost every single house is less than 10 feet away from the next house and you would think neighborly encounters would be quite frequent. However, Arizona residents are famous for running inside to avoid human contact at all costs, and because it is just downright unsafe to be outside for half the year out here. Block walls enclose every yard making it even easier for residents to hide out and avoid being exposed. Everyone can probably agree that there is always a situation that comes up where it is nice to know you can rely on your neighbors if you need to. Most people out here would never even considering helping out a neighbor by house sitting while they are away or watching their kids during an emergency. Even just collecting your mail for you while you are on vacation is just too much to ask of most people in Arizona. People in Arizona are too selfish, lazy, and many actually believe they are too important to help out another. After moving to an Arizona subdivision, don’t wait around to be welcomed by cookies and a meet-and-greet with your neighbors. The real welcoming will come when you go out to see a movie a couple weeks later and return to find out your neighbors hijacked your newly planted palm trees and Christmas decorations. Neighborhood Watch in Arizona pretty much equates to your neighbors surveying what high value possessions are delivered to your house, and then attempting to steal them from you while you are gone.

Drunk in Public – it really is no secret that there isn’t a lot going on in Arizona. There is nothing to do and most of the time it is too hot to even venture outside. So, what do most people in Arizona do? They drink, and they drink, and they drink. Drinking is extremely popular in Arizona amongst all age groups, demographics, and is done religiously at least four days a week by many. Watching Arizona locals in their natural habitat of the restaurants and bars with the cheapest happy hour can be closely linked to a weekend trip to your local zoo. These animals are loud, obnoxious, and aren’t afraid of showing you it all. Literally. There is nothing like watching people who graduated college decades ago falling over themselves, pounding shots, yelling across a family restaurant, vomiting in bushes, and doing body shots at the bar. These people have no shame and it shows. Unfortunately, if you just want a nice, reasonably quiet meal with your family or friends, then you probably need to stay home, scour the area for a place that doesn’t serve alcohol, or head across state lines. Whenever there is alcohol involved, the people in Arizona become even crazier and you never know how far they are going to take it.

Tough Guy Façade – you know, I really can’t tell if it is all the lifted trucks, skull/flame tattoos, or the lame Ed Hardy shirts out here, but we have a lot of people marching around with a tough guy front for no good reason. Arizona is one of those rare places where you will end up in random confrontations for just going about your business as usual. As cowardly and unsociable as so many are in Arizona, it is surprising to see how many locals will go around looking for fights and will get in someone’s face just for the amusement factor or to look tough in front of their buddies. You will frequently witness parking lot road rage, bar brawls, shopping cart angst, homeless harassment, customer service disputes over nothing, and people who go to absolute extreme measures to let someone know if they were accidentally bumped into. It is really hard to determine what makes so many people in Arizona act out for no good reason, but my guess is it is just frustration about being stuck in the Nation’s cesspool. The worst part about all this is that you never know which one of these lunatics has no reason to live, is carrying, and will not hesitate to shoot you because you beat him to a parking spot.

Communication Breakdown – do you like discussing current events, the future, or really anything that requires analyzing the facts, thinking logically, and drawing conclusions? Good luck. Try talking about current events, education, or just about anything else and watch the blank stares you get from these zombies or how quick they are to blurt some stupid, non-sense out as if they are a longtime expert on the subject. Have you ever noticed whenever you ask someone a question out here or offer some sort of realistic solution to a problem they will just stand there and blankly stare you down? Or have you had them just start laughing hysterically at the most inappropriate times? You have just experienced the local Arizona dialect which can be pretty frightening at first. People out here are terrible at thinking in general, expressing their thoughts rationally, and tend to usually say (without thinking) the dumbest, most immature, and inappropriate thing that crosses their minds. All people in Arizona really want to know from you is what kind of car you drive, how many square feet is your home, how much you get paid per hour at work, favorite beer (better be Corona), and how quick you put out. Anything else, don’t even bother.

Luxurious Delusion – phonies, fakes, frauds, wannabes, 30K millionaires, or those on the continual quest for handouts. Whatever you want to call them, Arizona is filled with some of the most delusional people around. Most out here are barely scraping by, but material possessions are still king in Arizona. You will be judged on the size of your house, type of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and anything else you own or lease. It is really like being in high school all over again and lucky for you, most people out here still act like they are 15 years old. Nothing is worse than listening to these people who believe they are owed the luxury car and huge house, but they don’t want to put in any of the time or hard work. There is so little to do out here that it leads to this childish competition and the culture of Arizona has become focused on constantly outdoing anyone else whether it is cars, boats, clothes, landscaping, homes or anything else. Just watch how quick your neighbors show up with a more luxurious car, which they can’t even afford, after you decide to upgrade your own car. Ever wonder why the housing crash was so horrendous in Phoenix? The simple answer is people with no money buying houses they could never even dream of affording – the Arizona way!

The Clueless, Careless, & Hopeless – better known to many of us as Arizona’s population that is out-of-touch with reality, or a lethal combination of our resident elderly, meth heads, and Natives. These people either don’t seem to understand that Arizona is not how life was ever supposed to be, they just don’t care anymore, or they are on enough drugs to turn this desert habitat into a tropical paradise within their minds. The only ones who might have an excuse are Arizona’s Natives since it is highly possible and unfortunate for them that they know no better. It is easiest just to let the drug aficionados throw their lives away in a corner somewhere, as long as they don’t get in your way while doing so. It is Arizona’s immense elderly population which poses a hidden, unknown danger for anyone trying to start a life and family out here. In general, the majority of the elderly population out here have done their time, raised their families, and are now retired from their jobs. They could care less about the state’s budget crisis, how bad the schools are, and don’t really want to improve anything. They simply want to sun bathe outside of their trailer, go to their casinos, and be left alone. They are against tax increases to improve schools, improve the roads, or to improve anything thing else in this quickly deteriorating state. As long as it doesn’t rain and the local grocery store remains open, these older people are as happy as can be. Dealings with any of these three groups of people are best avoided as much as possible for your own sanity.

Fading Friendships – Arizona is obviously not a state recommended moving to if you wanted to form any meaningful, long-lasting friendships or relationships. People out here are shady, outlandish, and are really only concerned with themselves. If you are a nice, friendly, and generous person then you will probably end up lied to and taken advantage of by some of the many parasites out here who are simply waiting for their next victim. You will be somebody’s best friend as long as you can provide whatever they need at that given moment whether it is drugs, car rides, a couch to sleep on, chicken wings, blowjobs, career support, alcohol, and the list goes on and on. As soon as these people no longer need your help, watch how quick they will vanish from your lives. Friendships in Arizona are formed for one reason only and that is self-advancement.

A lot of people refer to Arizona as a dead end state and that is a point that is pretty hard to argue with. Arizona is a place a lot of people come to as a last resort, a place to hide from their past, a place to fake it until someone catches on, a place to play make believe, or as a place where their immature games and absurdity will fit in with the rest of the greater population. People in Arizona are a rare breed and anyone with a shred of normalcy will have a tough time making it in Arizona. As for everyone else in Arizona, the extreme heat ends up forming some sort of indestructible bond between those people who share the common belief system of just getting by. Those people who do show up at Arizona’s door with hopes, dreams, and even just a touch of class will end up getting left behind in the desert. It is hard to form real friendships or relationships out here as everyone is out for themselves and will use anyone or anything to make a quick buck or get a free ride. It is easy to feel lost, bothered, and hopeless out here in Arizona as you are surrounded by idiots at your job, in your neighborhood, out and about, on the roads, and anywhere else life may take you across Arizona. Moving away is the only sure way you can escape from these foolish, brainless, and juvenile monsters. One thing is for sure – the people out here are certainly unique! You can’t argue that.

The game is officially over for so many in Arizona as we watch our population numbers continue to plunge. Arizona and so many of its residents counted on this growth and expansion to keep their jobs, businesses, and the local economy intact. The state of Arizona now has fewer people moving in, zero need for any new developments, people are running out of money, businesses are closing their doors, and jobs are running dry. This downturn in population growth has hurt a number of industries and has put a number of construction workers, Realtors, mortgage/loan consultants, strip mall, and restaurant workers out of work with nowhere to turn to in this beaten Arizona economy. Maybe, just maybe people are starting to wise up to the fact that Arizona is not a tropical paradise, but really a dusty, lackluster, hopeless, dreadful, terrifying, dead end place where you never want to find yourself. A few lurking surprises will await you should you choose to relocate yourself to a life out here in the sweltering desert, and these could just be a few of the reasons people are now saying NO to Arizona.

Traffic / Drivers / Congestion – the huge population surge in recent years has absolutely hammered Arizona freeways and surface streets. Most of the major roadways in Arizona were built far before the extreme population growth and have been at max capacity for quite some time. Travel around much of the Phoenix area is a mess right now especially during the rush hour, in construction zones, or whenever there is another accident. And in Phoenix, there are a lot of accidents. It is pretty much a fact that Arizona roadways just are not a safe place to be and you will witness this every single time you get in your car. You are guaranteed to see some of the most bizarre accidents and driving techniques while driving around Arizona. It doesn’t help that everything in Arizona is so spread out and driving is an absolute necessity to go anywhere or do anything. Most people live so far away from their jobs that it creates long, hot, and treacherous, commutes for the majority of residents out here. Of course, it is completely expected that a city the size of Phoenix will have some traffic and congestion concerns. However, it is the toxic amalgamation of drunk, illegal, inexperienced, aged, incompetent, and otherwise terrifying drivers out here that is really the icing on the cake, and will make you really wish the next time you got in your car that you were driving out of Arizona forever!

Low wages / Lack of jobs – we get it, a lot of Arizona Natives are perfectly content working in dead end jobs with no advancement and minimal pay. However, Arizona organizations are not going to attract or retain solid employees with this mindless business model. It has become shockingly clear to people just how poor the job market is in Arizona and people have stopped moving here looking for work because of this. People are not going to move to Arizona to make 30K (and often even less) while working in call centers, fast food restaurants, or mailing out DVDs. The lack of real, good jobs is going to keep the bright, educated, and innovative people out of Arizona unless there is a significant turnaround at some point. There is a reason that get-rich-quick, pyramid schemes, selling magazines door-to-door, and other scams are so popular across metropolitan Phoenix – the majority of jobs out here pay at the high school level no matter what your education or experience level may be.

Crime – in a big city, crime is certainly expected. In Phoenix, crime is running rampant and seems to be getting worse every year. Shootings, armed robberies, mail theft, drugs, property damage, stolen cars, rape, senseless killings, child abductions, hit-and-runs, human smuggling – you name it, we have it in Arizona and it is probably flourishing in your own neighborhood. You may have heard otherwise, but the crime in the Phoenix and Tucson areas appears to be on the rise and can only get worse as the desperation continues out here. Sadly, it has really become a question of when, and not if something will happen to you. Everyone in Arizona is a target at this point, even those who most of us look at as having just about nothing left. Have a car, a house, a MP3 player, a case of Ice House beer, a watch, a pack of cigarettes, or maybe just a dollar in change – you are next. It is only in Arizona that you will regularly hear these mind-boggling violent news stories that even the most fanatical Hollywood writers could never even dream up. In other words, you can’t make this shit up.

Phoenix, Arizona – it’s affordable for a reason!!

If you’ve kept up with this blog and many of the reader comments, then you’ve surely seen just how many times we’ve read somebody’s story about how his or her quality of life was turned upside down upon relocating to Arizona. A lot of people get suckered into moving out here with the false claims of nice weather, cheap homes, ton of activities, great & plentiful jobs, and a high quality of life. People are easily fooled when they see the palm trees, sunny skies, pools, and nicely manicured golf courses on their TVs or in Arizona relocation guides. Unfortunately, move out here for just a week or two and you will quickly realize that you are really in for a unique and unpleasant treat. Arizona is one of those rare places where you can try your hardest to make the most of it, and you will still be left feeling worn out, defeated, misplaced, disgusted, and just sick to your stomach. There’s just something about this place and it’s scorching weather, discouraging landscape, horrifying crimes, monotony, and lack of opportunity that will really get you down and will keep you down until you can finally escape.

Many, many people have reported moving to Arizona and realizing just how unfriendly and lacking the job market really is out here. There are NO good jobs out here – well, of course there are a few but you probably aren’t going to be fortunate enough to land one of these positions. There was an abundance of fast food, retail, landscaping, call center, and other ’strip mall jobs’ in recent years. However, as it became more clear that Arizona was greatly overbuilt in the past few years, the number of these jobs are on the decline while the number of applicants is on the rise. Not a good situation for you if you had dreamed of moving to Arizona and introducing yourself to the fast-paced world of Wendys. It might already be pretty clear to a lot of people, but I cannot stress enough that nobody should ever move to Arizona to look for a job or even with a job offer in hand. You might wonder why it might be a bad idea to move to Arizona even with a job already lined up, but the answer could not be simpler. It is not worth the risk or the hassle of relocating to Arizona. If you move out here even with a great job and get laid off, it will be next to impossible to find a similar position out here. You will be forced to relocate once again or take a huge pay cut with another organization out here. That’s certainly no fun and Arizona does have some of the lowest unemployment benefits in the country should you need to file a claim. Don’t be fooled by news reports and talk of Arizona having a hot job market – it certainly doesn’t now and probably never will.

You probably thought it was bad enough when you moved to Arizona and you couldn’t find work or were stuck taking a position far below your skill level. Once you landed a job somewhere and somehow out here, you probably had the pleasure of dealing with commuting and just driving out here in general. You soon realized one day as you were driving to your dead end job, just how terrible all the construction, traffic and the drivers are out here. Other states may have more traffic, but Arizona certainly has some of the worst drivers in the country. Arizona drivers are famous for driving drunk, driving in the left lane, cutting off others, having no concept of merging, blocking people who need to get past them, not signaling, throwing caution & trash out the window, running red lights seconds after the signal change, and just about anything else you can imagine. Living in Arizona will allow you to witness some of the worst accidents you have seen in your life and the opportunity to sit in the subsequent traffic backups. Driving in Arizona is a lot like playing Mario Kart, except out here you will be forced to dodge illegals, drunks, tire debris, ladders, and old mattresses. Driving in Arizona will anger, frustrate, and quite possibly kill you.

Managing to make it out of the traffic alive and into your first day of work, you encountered some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. People in Arizona are like one giant herd of sheep with no direction, no ambition, no work ethic, and piss poor attitudes. People out here don’t care about you, and you shouldn’t care about them. Most relationships in Arizona are built solely on getting ahead or taking advantage of a situation. People in Arizona who work hard and share their own ideas will only be taken advantage of. It really doesn’t matter whether you are working the drive thru or retail or with a small business or in a corporate office building in Arizona – you will still be surrounded by these worthless, uneducated, drunk cowards. And to make matters worse, it is almost always these people who manage to get ahead out here. You will NOT grow your career in Arizona and shouldn’t even bother coming out here and giving it a try.

You surely thought that even though your job and commute in Arizona was terrible enough, you can at least have a great time at home and out on the weekends. Right? C’mon now, you have a brand new house in far, far East Mesa with a pool, and you live right next to a half vacant strip mall. Life could not sound much better to the majority of these uneducated fools in Arizona. Although, you quickly realized that life in an Arizona subdivision, as well as everyone else living in Arizona will manage to piss you off in one way or another. People out here struggle with menial tasks including grocery shopping, fueling their car, checking their mail, and even walking their dog. The majority of retail and restaurant workers out here are lazy, not knowledgeable, pushy, and just unpleasant to deal with. There is no common courtesy out here and people tend to just do what they feel when they feel like doing it. From having landscaping crews show up well before the sun comes up to tying up a barking dog for hours on end to listening to awful, deafening Mexican music late into the night to people of all ages road racing down the streets of your subdivision – you WILL encounter it all in Arizona. People in Arizona will drag you down to their level and at some point you will probably just give up and take it. The longer you spend in Arizona, it becomes more and more likely that you will be that jackass who is out with a chainsaw at 5AM, drunk, naked, and cutting down that dead palm tree in your yard. Don’t let it happen to you – leave now while you can still think rationally.

And then there’s the weather. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse out here, April arrives and so do the 100 degree days. No matter how you slice it or justify it, the fact is that the weather in Arizona is miserable for close to half the year. Don’t be fooled by the idiots who tell you there are just three hot months, and then nine months filled with the best and most beautiful weather in the world. This is not the case, was never the case, and will never be the case. Being in Arizona is close to unbearable from May to the beginning of October. The winter months are a mixture of mild and cold, but one thing is certain and that is that you won’t regularly be laying out by your pool in December like some people would like to have you believe. Tell me how a state where you are just about forced to lock yourself indoors for months on end has beautiful weather worth bragging about. The bright, hot, miserable, dusty, and lengthy Arizona summers will take a toll on your mental and physical health.

You really can try your hardest to make living in Arizona work for you. You can do the opposite of everyone else in Arizona and be friendly, work hard, go out and see what Arizona has to offer, think for yourself, drink in moderation, and strive to get ahead. Unfortunately, you will quickly realize that it is all for nothing as you sit in a dead end job and fail to build any true friendships or meaningful relationships out here. Arizona will quickly turn even the best of people into depressed, worthless, demotivated zombies who look, think, and act like everyone else. Try and justify it all you want but there is no reason for settling down out here. Ever thought your life couldn’t get any worse? Come to Arizona because it can and it will. How quick did you experience the downturn in quality of life since moving to Arizona? The first week?

Well, if the terrible weather, growing illegal population, increasing crime, worsening traffic conditions, declining economy, pathetic school system, kidnappings galore, and surprisingly low number of jobs available wasn’t enough to keep you out of one of the most unsafe and depressing states in the entire country… Now, you can rest assured knowing that even your luggage is not safe whenever you are fortunate enough to be flying back into Phoenix. That’s right – another baggage thief has been arrested for stealing luggage from Phoenix’s own Sky Harbor International Airport. In case you missed the news, there was another separate arrest back in November of last year for over 1000 pieces of luggage. And I’m certain these two arrests aren’t just isolated incidents, but just the only two who have managed to get caught thus far. At Sky Harbor, anyone can walk right in and walk right out of the baggage claim areas with zero questions asked. Security is minimal at best at Sky Harbor and surely baggage theft happens a lot more often than it should. It is a pretty bad situation for travelers when the security count is already so low, and the ones who are ‘working’ are often seen chatting with others, standing around, reading the paper, or just dicking around. Would it be too much to ask to have them at least pay attention to what is going on around them?

Obviously, the chance that your luggage actually gets stolen is pretty minimal. In fact, if you live and work in the state of Arizona you probably can’t afford anything worth stealing anyways. (Quick tip: if you plan on stealing luggage from Sky Harbor, you probably want to target the luggage belonging to out-of-state passengers.) The main point I am getting at here is to point out the desperation acts which have been and are still on the rise across Arizona. Arizona is famous for its dangerous combination of limited jobs, uneducated and under-qualified job applicants, drug addicts, and overpopulation. Thousands upon thousands of people in Arizona are either unemployed or underemployed due to the lack of jobs in the area or a lack of education. People are desperate. In fact, people are really desperate out here and will do unheard of crimes just to make ends meet or to get their fix. It really is a lethal combination and everyone in Arizona ends up suffering.

When you live in a city full of uneducated meth heads who have no respect for anyone, crimes like this are going to happen. Arizona is one of the few spots in the country where people will steal luggage, shoot the elderly on a morning stroll, kill a family’s dog, and rob the Girl Scouts of their cookies just to try and make a quick buck. Be careful out there. Crime is going up in Arizona, and the number of police officers out there is going down. Great idea, isn’t it? Nah…

In case you missed it, the Associated Press just put out an article titled, ‘People in Sunny States Happiest, New York Least’. The article went on to state that people in sunny and outdoorsy states are among the happiest in the country. People are supposedly most happy in states with good climates, low crime rates, good air quality, and good schools. All of these factors makes perfect sense to me except for one small part of the article. How in the world does a state filled with crime, extreme temperatures, illegals, piss poor schools, no jobs, and nothing to do but drink to excess rank fifth in the entire country? That’s right, Arizona has been ranked in the top five states with the happiest people.

The only thing Arizona even comes close to having on the ‘happiness checklist’ is abundant sunshine and more often than not the sunshine is filtered through the brown cloud which is just about permanently planted over the Phoenix area these days. If you have considered moving to Arizona for the sunshine or the supposed glorious weather, remember just this one thing. Abundant sunshine isn’t going to pay your bills and it surely isn’t going to stop your children from being robbed at gun point while on the school bus.

Arizona is not an outdoorsy state and there really aren’t many exciting outdoor activities if that is your thing, especially so in the Phoenix metropolitan area. The main outdoor activity in Arizona is hiking and that can only be done safely for about half of the year or so. The most popular outdoor activity amongst most Arizonans is getting plowed outside on a bar’s patio.

You’d be an idiot to think a state full of uneducated degenerates and illegals is going to have low crime rates. The crime in Arizona has been continually on the rise and it is only going to get worse. Not to mention the crimes in this state are truly like something out of a horror movie.

The brown cloud and the traffic backups speaks enough for the air quality in Arizona. While, Arizona’s dead last ranking in public education tells the whole story of Arizona’s education system. Remember, it doesn’t matter if you think you are in a good school district – your kids are still far behind the rest of the country.

In the end, it couldn’t be more obvious that the writer of this article has never been to and has certainly not lived in Arizona, but this ranking is still worth a laugh especially for those of us who know the truth about Arizona and aren’t living in some sort of fantasy state of mind. Share your thoughts about Arizona’s ranking below.

Merry Christmas!

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-12-18-happiest-states_N.htm

The secret is out – the quantity of quality jobs in Arizona is extremely low. Finding one of the few great job opportunities in Arizona is nearly impossible, but these days people are struggling in their hunt for any sort of job out here. Obviously, the economy across the country isn’t doing too great right now, but the employment situation in Arizona probably won’t be rebounding any time soon as it will be in many places. Arizona has always been known for its call center and construction jobs, along with a number of positions tied directly to the building, leasing, and selling of local real estate. There are very few companies headquartered in the area and a limited number of jobs out here outside of the construction, real estate, and service industries. The majority of Arizona residents have always relied on working these retail, foodservice, and construction jobs and many were happy to do so – remember, the majority out here have little desire to get ahead. The great Arizona housing crash has not only successfully dropped Arizona housing prices back to reality and then some, but has also led to a depressing situation in the Arizona job market for many residents here.

As Arizona experienced record population growth in recent years, it led to a false sense of security for many and a very temporary job market. Construction teams were busy building up house after house, along with the adjacent community shopping centers. More and more service jobs were created to service all the residents in these newer communities and strip malls which shot up around Phoenix. Many people jumped into real estate and mortgage jobs in order to keep up with the temporary demand and most saw it as their gold ticket to early retirement. The mindset in Arizona seemed to to be that the population growth would continue, home values would continue to go up, and jobs were more than secure. So, now that the real estate bubble burst and took tons of real estate and construction related jobs with it, what is your now out of work Arizona Realtor or mortgage broker to do? Well, you have probably seen many of them out and about as many now work at Safeway, Burger King, Bashas’, or Applebees – jobs that a lot of people in Arizona had always relied on being available. And in a place like Arizona, this trend is likely to continue for quite some time as all those excess mortgage and constructions jobs just aren’t needed anymore.

Times are tough for your average Arizona resident and they aren’t going to be getting better any time soon. More jobs aren’t going to appear out of thin air – if anything, the number of available jobs in Arizona is actually declining. Next time you head out, count how many strip malls have vacant openings or how many grocery stores have closed down or the now empty fast food restaurant buildings. And it seems like someone finally wised up to the fact that it might be time to slow down all the new home and commercial property builds – many of which sit vacant regardless of location. These retail and service jobs were the jobs Arizona’s people had relied on for so long and many of these jobs are now done by out of work Arizona Realtors and construction workers. It was bad enough that there were never really any good jobs in Arizona, but now that there is pretty much NO jobs in Arizona – good luck!

The few people out here who actually have not been foreclosed on and are still making those monthly mortgage payments have got to be wondering what their home is actually worth in this brutal Arizona housing market. Many have realized they will never come out ahead as they significantly overpaid for their house a few years back, others are under the impression that Arizona property values will rise as much and as quickly as they did in recent years, and there are some others who just want to return to the days of living in a neighborhood that is not filled with vacant houses and houses which are desperately rented out to herds of illegals. I recently came across an article in regards to the top signs that your home may be losing value. Obviously, there is really only one way to know what your home is truly worth and that is to clean it up and put it on the market. Unfortunately, despite what your Realtor, neighbors, and coworkers may claim, it does not look like Arizona home values will be turning around anytime soon. Here are just a few of the reasons why:

Foreclosures in your neighborhood – we all know by now that Arizona is home to a plethora of 30k millionaires, wannabes, fakes, and those stuck in the constant struggle of keeping up with everyone else’s material possessions. It started with just clothes, cars, alcoholic beverages, and upscale electronics and then turned into having to have the most elaborate house with the lavish swimming pool, and the largest garage on the block. As Arizona home prices inched upwards and these people continued to buy, a lot of people put themselves in situations which they could never recover from. You will lose every time you try and keep up with someone when you don’t have the right assets – in this case, financial wealth. So, what do we have in Arizona? Thousands of people who bought homes they could have never dreamt of affording and have been foreclosed on. And all those foreclosures lining your community surely aren’t helping your property values. While it is fact that people have been foreclosed on in every area and zip code across Arizona – the neighborhoods that are really going to feel the downfall of all these foreclosures will be those who bought fringe properties assuming the population growth and rise in home values seen in recent years would continue.

Homes lingering on the market – if you were to drive around your block right now, how many ‘home for sale’ signs could you count? In fact, you probably have a pretty good idea without even stepping out your front door since so many Arizona homes have just been sitting on the market for so long. The further out from the city you go, the more likely you are to encounter multiple homes for sale on each street you drive down. There are so few desirable areas or communities in Arizona and all the houses/subdivisions are essentially the same anyways – so why buy somewhere when it is cheaper a few streets over? If a home sits around long enough, it’s price certainly isn’t going to go up; banks, investors, and former owners are only going to hold properties for so long before they give up and slash the price, which will drag down the value of your Arizona home as well.

Increasing unemployment – the future of employment in Arizona looks anything but promising. Unlike most other places, there is not going to be a rebound in jobs available as the economy turns. Job growth in Arizona will probably remain fairly stagnant even in the construction, fast food, and retail industry. Just about the only reason it looked like there was job growth in Arizona in recent years was that someone had to build and then work in the newly created strip malls to service all the new residents of the Valley’s newly built up fringe cities. Those days are long gone – and with so few jobs out here it is going to be hard for people to qualify for a mortgage with no income. Excess homes and a low number of qualified buyers means people are going to shop around and the value of your home will go down unless you really have something to offer potential buyers.

Homes in disrepair – vacant homes, homes filled with questionable renters as a last resort to falling into foreclosure, and homes needing repairs which just aren’t in the budget. It won’t matter how nice you keep your property when the vacant property next door has boarded up windows and weeds taller than your cars. On the other side of your home is a three bedroom house filled with 19 illegals with two more on the way. They blare their annoying music all day, are constantly rotating out wheels in the continuous quest for the smallest wheels that stick out the most for their barely running Explorer, their lawn is littered with Bud Ice cans, and their kids will treat your lawn as their own. Then there are the homes that are not kept up since nobody has any money – many Arizona homes need paint work, roofing work, and other improvements which are certainly bringing down property values through out the neighborhood.

So, the real question is who is going to be able to afford these Arizona homes? In the past, Arizona always relied on growth to fill these overbuilt, overpriced, miles-from-anything homes. The growth is drying up just like everything else is out here except for the few native plants left. If you don’t have people out here who have the desire or the finances to purchase these homes and you have fewer people moving here then what do you have? A severe excess of homes which is only going to keep prices down for a long time.

Looking at the current situation we are in here in Arizona, it is hard to believe that just a few years back houses could not be built quick enough out here. People were ready to buy and many homes were selling before they even hit the market. It was during this time that apartment conversions skyrocketed in the Phoenix area to try and keep up with demand, especially in areas like Scottsdale. It is certainly much easier, as well as a great deal cheaper, to take these preexisting apartments and drop in a few upgrades, instead of building from the ground all the way up. Transforming former Arizona apartments into so-called condos also allowed you to make the most out of older apartments that are located in areas which are seen as more desirable. You can charge quite a bit more for real estate that is more centrally located in the Phoenix area, as opposed to all the new builds way out in Buckeye or Apache Junction. Sure the location might be great and these newly named condos might look super nice when you first step inside, even though the outside of most still screams trashy apartment, but are they really a wise buy for your money?

Looks can surely be deceiving and this could not be any more apparent than when it comes to most of these Arizona condo conversions. It was imperative that these Arizona condo conversions were done quickly, cheaply, and efficiently in order to maximize profits before the market turned – if not, you would be the one taking the financial hit when Arizona’s housing market went south. So, how much time, effort, and cash was actually put into the majority of these recent conversions? Well, it’s not that hard to rip out the brown or green 1970s appliances and replace them with new, bottom of the line stainless steel appliances. Add cheap, knockoff granite counter tops and update some of the archaic light fixtures and you have already made the place look a thousand times better while keeping your costs extremely low. Now just repaint the aging walls and replace the stained carpet with the cheapest tile you can find, and you have successfully finished your Arizona condo conversion. This is reality – most Arizona condo conversions consist of not much more than new paint, appliances, lighting fixtures, and flooring.

The motto and underlying sales tactic for anyone trying to sell you one of these properties is, when in doubt or questioned about anything, rave about the resort like pool. A number of these Arizona conversions spent a significant portion of the cash set aside for the conversion on upgrading the pool area. Many added new palm trees, maybe some tiki torches, and newer bamboo chairs and umbrellas. Some spent a fair amount on resurfacing the old pool, while others did nothing except for making things appear better than they actually are. Almost every one these Arizona condo conversion brags about having resort/Vegas style pools with all the same amenities you would find there which is really not the case. Don’t be fooled – how much time do you think you will actually be at the pool anyways and don’t forget you are sharing this pool with all your loud, drunk, disease ridden, meth dealing neighbors.

Before you even consider buying one of these properties, you must remember that many of these units were sold without consideration for the future of the community or its residents – this is not a planned community, it is essentially a get rich and get out scheme. HOA fees are often absurdly high to ensure maximum profit for those part of the conversion process – funds in the HOA capital reserve for potential large expenses such as pool maintenance and roofing repairs are pretty much non-existent until you have owners regularly paying their dues. But, remember most of these properties were sold when the housing market was at its peak and everything was way overpriced. Many have since been foreclosed on or have renters who are paying extremely low rent, and many units still sit vacant because most were picked up as investments. When you rely on HOA funds for general maintenance, pool upkeep, and other community repairs with so many units in foreclosure, you really have an issue on your hand. A number of these condos also suffer from being poorly managed and developed since these old apartments were purchased to get them on the market as quickly and cheaply as possible. If you still plan on purchasing an Arizona condo conversion, make sure you know exactly what your monthly dues are, what they cover, and how the reserve funds are handled.

Are there are condo conversions that might be worth looking at in Arizona? Sure, there might be, but good luck finding them. Many of these Arizona condo conversions were done as quickly and cheaply as possible in order to get them on the market while it was still promising. Be warned, most of these Arizona condo conversions are the equivalent of a cheap paint job – it might look nice the first few weeks but will quickly show just how imperfect it is. And unlike the apartment it once was, you can’t just terminate your mortgage like you could with that lease. Condo conversions are often cheaper than original condos/townhomes because all they really are would be apartments with stainless steel appliances and often a large HOA fee. You are still living with paper thin walls, aging and possibly deteriorating plumbing and electrical lines which are often overlooked since they are hidden from view, and usually a thoughtless design and layout inside your unit and that of the entire community. Save your money and buy a real condo or a house or just avoid the mess of Arizona real estate all together.