Arizona Sucks

When life might have become uncertain, gloomy, too expensive, or stagnant, people have turned to Arizona hoping for a brighter future and brighter days. With over 300 days of sunshine a year, plenty of people are easily convinced that a move to the Phoenix area is the right thing to do. And on just about any relocation website you will come across, Arizona sounds like a pretty damn good choice. You will come across countless claims on the affordable housing, an expanding and prosperous job market, terrific year-round weather, and a million other reasons why you should join the millions of lost souls spread throughout the state of Arizona.

It is not until you pack up the family, all your belongings, the golden retriever, and actually make the move to Arizona that you will realize life out here is drastically different than what your Realtor had told you. You will encounter life forms you were sure only existed on other planets, a job market that appears to be severely misplaced, and a housing market that may never fully recover. Everything you had ever worked for essentially thrown away in that snap relocation decision, and now you must live out your sentence melting away in an extremely over-priced stucco dwelling in the Arizona summer heat. You will go from having your own office to working your own drive-thru window – you will go from having equity in a nice house in an established neighborhood to paying down a mortgage which is hundreds of thousands of dollars more than the home is actually worth – you will go from having real, valued friendships to locked away in your house to avoid these people, all the crime, and the temperature extremes. It won’t take long until you realize you have become just another one of the many trapped in this discouraging, dusty, densely packed desert called Arizona.

Anyone with two brain cells left to rub together will know that Arizona is known for low wages and that the mainstream careers out here include retail and call centers. It is unfortunate that the job market in Arizona is so piss poor, but to say that it is anything else would be a straight up lie. Since there are so few places to further your career in Arizona, many people end up working the drive thru window or retail just to support their families. Plenty of people in Arizona are stuck in jobs where it becomes next to impossible to put away any money or acquire any valuable skill sets for a real chance to get themselves out of this mess. It is hard enough to land an out-of-state job, but it is increasingly more difficult if your recent work experience was polishing urinal mints at an Arizona fast food chain. Employers want experience and there aren’t too many jobs in Arizona where you can gain this experience unless you always dreamt of maximizing your number of plates washed or outbound calls per hour. Those stuck trying to move out of Arizona often realize that any time spent in Arizona has done nothing to build their resume or expand their professional network and this makes it increasingly difficult to leave. Arizona will not help you further your career and even if you do manage to get out, you will be stuck all the way at the bottom once again.

So many people bought into Arizona’s bogus housing market and are now stuck with mortgages they will spend a lifetime paying off. It is frightening how many people in Arizona are paying hefty mortgages, are upside down on their mortgages, or are just a month away from foreclosing. The Arizona housing market is not rebounding anytime soon, and many people who buy out here really have no idea what they are potentially in for. You would be surprised to find out just how many people are stuck out here just because they have a mortgage on a house they couldn’t dream of selling and can’t find any qualified renters for. In a real estate market where there are already so many available homes, more developments going up for some reason, and so few buyers, it really gives those buyers and potential renters the upper hand. Many people cannot afford to take the several hundred thousand dollar hit by selling their homes right now, so they end up stuck living in Arizona even though it is often not by choice.

Countless others arrive in Arizona and just let themselves completely go. Just a few months in Arizona and it is understood that ambition means nothing out here. Look at the people around you – so many people out here surround themselves with beers, double cheeseburgers, and chrome wheels they are just renting. It is absolutely astonishing when you look at the number of people who move to Arizona and become social drinkers who drink every day, drive-thru regulars, and people who think getting paid anything over ten dollars per hour is a lot of money. Arizona is a strange place and many people fall right into the trap, and become just as useless as the next guy out here. The overall vibe in Arizona is just scraping by, and once you also develop this mindset, it is next to impossible to accomplish anything. Suddenly, you have zero goals and no initiative, and the only thing keeping you kind-of going is the thought of going to Happy Hour. You no longer care about advancing yourself or your career, and as long as you have booze and fast food close by, you become just content enough to actually live in this wasteland.

It is easy to say that none of the above will happen to you – make the move to Arizona and see what happens. I don’t think a lot of people want to imagine what would happen if they were trapped in a desert, but it happens to thousands of people who move to Arizona each year.

You might be able to put up with the blandness, unpleasant weather, excessive crime, limited opportunity, and everything else gone wrong in Arizona, but you have to be wondering how you are going to manage to make it out alive having to constantly deal with these drifting, despicable creatures who also call Arizona home? Unfortunately, I am referring to the human beings who barely manage to exist out here and not the assortment of roaches, spiders, snakes, termites, scorpions, and our other fun filled desert friends who are also waiting to ruin your day. Arizona residents are really something else and they aren’t afraid of showing it, or maybe it could be that they just don’t care how stupid they habitually make themselves and those associated with them look. It is this fanatical collection of individuals out here that will really make you wonder where everything in the world went terribly wrong.

Moving to Arizona is a culture shock to many as they quickly realize the culture out here is tied to drugs, drinking, lifted trucks, immaturity, and simply getting by. If you want to spend the rest of your years as if you were still in the frat house while rocking Tommy Bahama flower print shirts, drinking Bud Lights by the pool all day, and banging desperate coke fiends then Arizona really might be the place for you. If you have even the slightest yearning to get ahead, want to know your neighbors, desire real friendships & relationships, or want to make more than 35K a year, then you probably want to avoid the state of Arizona at all costs. If you actually can refer to yourself as a mature, planning-for-the-future, and responsible adult with dreams and aspirations then moving to Arizona will be a challenge for you as it will be next to impossible for you to fit in with all the social misfits, habitual drunks, lethargic co-workers, nameless neighbors, and all the other abnormal social groups out here. You will be frustrated, bored, and shocked at how so many people can be so appalling in Arizona. And here might be why…..

Arizona’s population is described by many to be soulless, fake, conceited, replaceable, unsociable, snobby, gullible, incompetent, insecure, lazy, cowardly, empty, selfish, superficial, judgmental, rude, irrational, know-it-all, slobs, deadbeats, useless, con-artists … in short, a wicked conglomeration of some of the worst this fine country (and Mexico) has to offer. You will encounter a part of all that has gone wrong with humankind in every aspect of your life in Arizona.

Clueless Co-workers – somehow you might actually have one of the few jobs left out here. It probably isn’t a great job, but it gets you by at least until you are able to escape this landfill we call Arizona. You will quickly and regrettably learn that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting ahead with this Arizona organization by working hard, putting in long hours when needed, and sharing your ideas to save the organization time and money, while improving processes. In Arizona, you advance your career through happy hours that end up lasting until the bars close, sleeping around with your superiors, joining the office Fantasy Baseball league, and black mail. Hard work doesn’t pay out here and just spend a few hours working out here and you will soon realize how crystal clear this is. People out here are lazy, they show up late, take a lot of sick days, drink a lot of coffee, and spend most of their time dicking around while at work. Mondays are spent sharing stories about how black out drunk everyone got over the weekend and who they slept with (this holds true for the married with kids, 40 plus crew too). Tuesday through Thursdays are usually all about catching up on the social networking sites or seeing what is new on Youtube. Thursdays come around and all day is spent planning where to head for happy hour that night and which place has the best Corona specials. If you move to Arizona, make sure you remember that Corona is a premium beverage out here and should be ordered whenever it is available. Friday mornings arrive too soon with a nasty hangover which quickly subsides once the talk of who is drinking what and where that night and what is going on Saturday night begins. Every week is the same out here folks, well unless there is a holiday weekend and then there will be even more drinking stories going around. Arizona is a great place if you have no real credentials, just want to work a dead end job, do the bare minimum, meet new drinking buddies, and are happy just getting by. Want to advance a career or get a career off the ground – avoid Arizona at all costs or be prepared to spend a lot of time at happy hour or on your knees in some nutjob’s office.

Nameless Neighbors – Arizona is one of those rare places where nobody knows their neighbors or wants to get to know their neighbors. You might think this is normal in a rural area where houses are miles apart and in a situation such as that, it might just be. However, in metropolitan Phoenix almost every single house is less than 10 feet away from the next house and you would think neighborly encounters would be quite frequent. However, Arizona residents are famous for running inside to avoid human contact at all costs, and because it is just downright unsafe to be outside for half the year out here. Block walls enclose every yard making it even easier for residents to hide out and avoid being exposed. Everyone can probably agree that there is always a situation that comes up where it is nice to know you can rely on your neighbors if you need to. Most people out here would never even considering helping out a neighbor by house sitting while they are away or watching their kids during an emergency. Even just collecting your mail for you while you are on vacation is just too much to ask of most people in Arizona. People in Arizona are too selfish, lazy, and many actually believe they are too important to help out another. After moving to an Arizona subdivision, don’t wait around to be welcomed by cookies and a meet-and-greet with your neighbors. The real welcoming will come when you go out to see a movie a couple weeks later and return to find out your neighbors hijacked your newly planted palm trees and Christmas decorations. Neighborhood Watch in Arizona pretty much equates to your neighbors surveying what high value possessions are delivered to your house, and then attempting to steal them from you while you are gone.

Drunk in Public – it really is no secret that there isn’t a lot going on in Arizona. There is nothing to do and most of the time it is too hot to even venture outside. So, what do most people in Arizona do? They drink, and they drink, and they drink. Drinking is extremely popular in Arizona amongst all age groups, demographics, and is done religiously at least four days a week by many. Watching Arizona locals in their natural habitat of the restaurants and bars with the cheapest happy hour can be closely linked to a weekend trip to your local zoo. These animals are loud, obnoxious, and aren’t afraid of showing you it all. Literally. There is nothing like watching people who graduated college decades ago falling over themselves, pounding shots, yelling across a family restaurant, vomiting in bushes, and doing body shots at the bar. These people have no shame and it shows. Unfortunately, if you just want a nice, reasonably quiet meal with your family or friends, then you probably need to stay home, scour the area for a place that doesn’t serve alcohol, or head across state lines. Whenever there is alcohol involved, the people in Arizona become even crazier and you never know how far they are going to take it.

Tough Guy Façade – you know, I really can’t tell if it is all the lifted trucks, skull/flame tattoos, or the lame Ed Hardy shirts out here, but we have a lot of people marching around with a tough guy front for no good reason. Arizona is one of those rare places where you will end up in random confrontations for just going about your business as usual. As cowardly and unsociable as so many are in Arizona, it is surprising to see how many locals will go around looking for fights and will get in someone’s face just for the amusement factor or to look tough in front of their buddies. You will frequently witness parking lot road rage, bar brawls, shopping cart angst, homeless harassment, customer service disputes over nothing, and people who go to absolute extreme measures to let someone know if they were accidentally bumped into. It is really hard to determine what makes so many people in Arizona act out for no good reason, but my guess is it is just frustration about being stuck in the Nation’s cesspool. The worst part about all this is that you never know which one of these lunatics has no reason to live, is carrying, and will not hesitate to shoot you because you beat him to a parking spot.

Communication Breakdown – do you like discussing current events, the future, or really anything that requires analyzing the facts, thinking logically, and drawing conclusions? Good luck. Try talking about current events, education, or just about anything else and watch the blank stares you get from these zombies or how quick they are to blurt some stupid, non-sense out as if they are a longtime expert on the subject. Have you ever noticed whenever you ask someone a question out here or offer some sort of realistic solution to a problem they will just stand there and blankly stare you down? Or have you had them just start laughing hysterically at the most inappropriate times? You have just experienced the local Arizona dialect which can be pretty frightening at first. People out here are terrible at thinking in general, expressing their thoughts rationally, and tend to usually say (without thinking) the dumbest, most immature, and inappropriate thing that crosses their minds. All people in Arizona really want to know from you is what kind of car you drive, how many square feet is your home, how much you get paid per hour at work, favorite beer (better be Corona), and how quick you put out. Anything else, don’t even bother.

Luxurious Delusion – phonies, fakes, frauds, wannabes, 30K millionaires, or those on the continual quest for handouts. Whatever you want to call them, Arizona is filled with some of the most delusional people around. Most out here are barely scraping by, but material possessions are still king in Arizona. You will be judged on the size of your house, type of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and anything else you own or lease. It is really like being in high school all over again and lucky for you, most people out here still act like they are 15 years old. Nothing is worse than listening to these people who believe they are owed the luxury car and huge house, but they don’t want to put in any of the time or hard work. There is so little to do out here that it leads to this childish competition and the culture of Arizona has become focused on constantly outdoing anyone else whether it is cars, boats, clothes, landscaping, homes or anything else. Just watch how quick your neighbors show up with a more luxurious car, which they can’t even afford, after you decide to upgrade your own car. Ever wonder why the housing crash was so horrendous in Phoenix? The simple answer is people with no money buying houses they could never even dream of affording – the Arizona way!

The Clueless, Careless, & Hopeless – better known to many of us as Arizona’s population that is out-of-touch with reality, or a lethal combination of our resident elderly, meth heads, and Natives. These people either don’t seem to understand that Arizona is not how life was ever supposed to be, they just don’t care anymore, or they are on enough drugs to turn this desert habitat into a tropical paradise within their minds. The only ones who might have an excuse are Arizona’s Natives since it is highly possible and unfortunate for them that they know no better. It is easiest just to let the drug aficionados throw their lives away in a corner somewhere, as long as they don’t get in your way while doing so. It is Arizona’s immense elderly population which poses a hidden, unknown danger for anyone trying to start a life and family out here. In general, the majority of the elderly population out here have done their time, raised their families, and are now retired from their jobs. They could care less about the state’s budget crisis, how bad the schools are, and don’t really want to improve anything. They simply want to sun bathe outside of their trailer, go to their casinos, and be left alone. They are against tax increases to improve schools, improve the roads, or to improve anything thing else in this quickly deteriorating state. As long as it doesn’t rain and the local grocery store remains open, these older people are as happy as can be. Dealings with any of these three groups of people are best avoided as much as possible for your own sanity.

Fading Friendships – Arizona is obviously not a state recommended moving to if you wanted to form any meaningful, long-lasting friendships or relationships. People out here are shady, outlandish, and are really only concerned with themselves. If you are a nice, friendly, and generous person then you will probably end up lied to and taken advantage of by some of the many parasites out here who are simply waiting for their next victim. You will be somebody’s best friend as long as you can provide whatever they need at that given moment whether it is drugs, car rides, a couch to sleep on, chicken wings, blowjobs, career support, alcohol, and the list goes on and on. As soon as these people no longer need your help, watch how quick they will vanish from your lives. Friendships in Arizona are formed for one reason only and that is self-advancement.

A lot of people refer to Arizona as a dead end state and that is a point that is pretty hard to argue with. Arizona is a place a lot of people come to as a last resort, a place to hide from their past, a place to fake it until someone catches on, a place to play make believe, or as a place where their immature games and absurdity will fit in with the rest of the greater population. People in Arizona are a rare breed and anyone with a shred of normalcy will have a tough time making it in Arizona. As for everyone else in Arizona, the extreme heat ends up forming some sort of indestructible bond between those people who share the common belief system of just getting by. Those people who do show up at Arizona’s door with hopes, dreams, and even just a touch of class will end up getting left behind in the desert. It is hard to form real friendships or relationships out here as everyone is out for themselves and will use anyone or anything to make a quick buck or get a free ride. It is easy to feel lost, bothered, and hopeless out here in Arizona as you are surrounded by idiots at your job, in your neighborhood, out and about, on the roads, and anywhere else life may take you across Arizona. Moving away is the only sure way you can escape from these foolish, brainless, and juvenile monsters. One thing is for sure – the people out here are certainly unique! You can’t argue that.

The game is officially over for so many in Arizona as we watch our population numbers continue to plunge. Arizona and so many of its residents counted on this growth and expansion to keep their jobs, businesses, and the local economy intact. The state of Arizona now has fewer people moving in, zero need for any new developments, people are running out of money, businesses are closing their doors, and jobs are running dry. This downturn in population growth has hurt a number of industries and has put a number of construction workers, Realtors, mortgage/loan consultants, strip mall, and restaurant workers out of work with nowhere to turn to in this beaten Arizona economy. Maybe, just maybe people are starting to wise up to the fact that Arizona is not a tropical paradise, but really a dusty, lackluster, hopeless, dreadful, terrifying, dead end place where you never want to find yourself. A few lurking surprises will await you should you choose to relocate yourself to a life out here in the sweltering desert, and these could just be a few of the reasons people are now saying NO to Arizona.

Traffic / Drivers / Congestion – the huge population surge in recent years has absolutely hammered Arizona freeways and surface streets. Most of the major roadways in Arizona were built far before the extreme population growth and have been at max capacity for quite some time. Travel around much of the Phoenix area is a mess right now especially during the rush hour, in construction zones, or whenever there is another accident. And in Phoenix, there are a lot of accidents. It is pretty much a fact that Arizona roadways just are not a safe place to be and you will witness this every single time you get in your car. You are guaranteed to see some of the most bizarre accidents and driving techniques while driving around Arizona. It doesn’t help that everything in Arizona is so spread out and driving is an absolute necessity to go anywhere or do anything. Most people live so far away from their jobs that it creates long, hot, and treacherous, commutes for the majority of residents out here. Of course, it is completely expected that a city the size of Phoenix will have some traffic and congestion concerns. However, it is the toxic amalgamation of drunk, illegal, inexperienced, aged, incompetent, and otherwise terrifying drivers out here that is really the icing on the cake, and will make you really wish the next time you got in your car that you were driving out of Arizona forever!

Low wages / Lack of jobs – we get it, a lot of Arizona Natives are perfectly content working in dead end jobs with no advancement and minimal pay. However, Arizona organizations are not going to attract or retain solid employees with this mindless business model. It has become shockingly clear to people just how poor the job market is in Arizona and people have stopped moving here looking for work because of this. People are not going to move to Arizona to make 30K (and often even less) while working in call centers, fast food restaurants, or mailing out DVDs. The lack of real, good jobs is going to keep the bright, educated, and innovative people out of Arizona unless there is a significant turnaround at some point. There is a reason that get-rich-quick, pyramid schemes, selling magazines door-to-door, and other scams are so popular across metropolitan Phoenix – the majority of jobs out here pay at the high school level no matter what your education or experience level may be.

Crime – in a big city, crime is certainly expected. In Phoenix, crime is running rampant and seems to be getting worse every year. Shootings, armed robberies, mail theft, drugs, property damage, stolen cars, rape, senseless killings, child abductions, hit-and-runs, human smuggling – you name it, we have it in Arizona and it is probably flourishing in your own neighborhood. You may have heard otherwise, but the crime in the Phoenix and Tucson areas appears to be on the rise and can only get worse as the desperation continues out here. Sadly, it has really become a question of when, and not if something will happen to you. Everyone in Arizona is a target at this point, even those who most of us look at as having just about nothing left. Have a car, a house, a MP3 player, a case of Ice House beer, a watch, a pack of cigarettes, or maybe just a dollar in change – you are next. It is only in Arizona that you will regularly hear these mind-boggling violent news stories that even the most fanatical Hollywood writers could never even dream up. In other words, you can’t make this shit up.

Phoenix, Arizona – it’s affordable for a reason!!

I’ve heard it, you’ve heard it, we’ve all heard it several times – ‘it’s the same everywhere else’ – it has slowly but surely become the go-to argument whenever a negative story or comment is shared about how life really is in Arizona. This argument has really increased in popularity out here over the last few years as many have tried to relate Arizona’s problems with that of the nation’s struggling economy. There are some people out here who may actually believe that other states are having the same economic, real estate, crime, and job struggles which we are dealing with in Arizona. Maybe you’ve even wondered if it really is this bad everywhere else in the country?

Not a chance. Do other states share some of the similar problems? Absolutely. Do other states have their own issues to deal with? They sure do. How many other states are stuck with permanent economic and social issues? Not many. Could it be the economy? Elsewhere, yes – in Arizona, not really. Is it just that the future for Arizona and its residents doesn’t sound all that appealing? Probably.

Anyone who really believes that the problems we are experiencing in Arizona are ‘the same as everywhere else’ either has never left the state of Arizona, has been stuck here so long that the heat has left them with no rational thought left, or is just ignorant to what is really going on around them. Look around you – most of these issues found here are not plaguing the rest of the country. Arizona does share some similar struggles with the rest of the nation, but the main difference is the rest of the country will probably recover at some point. Three of Arizona’s major struggles which will continue for the forseeable future include the housing market, job market, and increasing violence. I’ll keep it pleasant and much, much shorter by leaving the weather, schools, residents, drivers, traffic, and lack of things to do out of this one.

Arizona’s Housing Market – finished. I really don’t think there is a simpler way to describe how the real estate market is going to continue playing out here in the coming years. The growth over the last 10 years fueled a real estate boom like something never seen before. Brand new developments went up all over the Phoenix area and each new development managed to get farther and farther away from the center of this mess. The homes continued to go up, but the population growth did not. The homes became larger, more feature packed, and pricier, but the number of unemployed and underemployed in Arizona increased. Arizona now struggles with tons of vacant homes, foreclosures galore, and a population struggling just to make rent. Who is going to buy these houses now? Arizona has always relied on growth to keep the bulk of its economy moving along, but what happens now as the growth continues to go down? More foreclosures and extremely cheap housing for anyone dumb enough to still move out here. Investors will certainly be shopping around for the best bargains, but might be in for quite a surprise when they realize nobody wants their home or they have to accept Pesos just to get someone to rent their home. I’ve said it before, and it needs to be said again – avoid the Arizona housing market all together unless you plan on staying for a very, very long time.

Arizona’s Job Market – almost non-existant with the exception of the retail, call center, and fast food industries. Even the construction jobs have vanished since we have vacant homes, offices, and strip malls for years to come. It will be interesting to see how the restaurant and service industry fare in Arizona since disposable income is just another thing running dry out here in the desert. Arizona’s job market will not rebound like that of the rest of the country because it can’t come back around since there was never really any jobs here in the first place. The so called HOT job market in Arizona was one of the more elaborate schemes coming out of Arizona which was pioneered, abused, and a success story for many Realtors around the state. It was simple, but it worked – create a false job market, persuade people to relocate to Arizona, and then sell them a home. The result was thousands upon thousands of people who made the voyage to Phoenix in the hunt for a piece of this bogus job market. So many people moved out here thinking good jobs were abundant, bought homes, and then could never find work. Want a good job, maybe even a career? You probably want to avoid Arizona, unless you want to push shopping carts around while it is 117 degrees outside.

Arizona’s Escalating Violence/Gang Activity/Drugs – they say crime is going down in Arizona, but picking up a newspaper, watching the news, or just keeping an eye on what is going on around you would tell you otherwise. The crimes out here seem to get crazier and more intense every year. Arizona criminals are desperate and will go after anyone and everyone including kids, the elderly, cops, the homeless, and even your pets. Fanatical crimes happen everywhere in Arizona from the white trash trailer parks to the illegal ridden apartments to the so-called affluent area of North Scottsdale. Drugs are all over the place as well, and what were once normal people will now do anything to get their fix. The schools out here can’t brag about the education your children are getting, but they do offer great exposure to gang activity and hard drugs. The number of gangs is on the rise across Phoenix, and the bulk of it is originating from our friends down South. Drug, human, and weapon smuggling is commonplace in Arizona and something you probably don’t want to get in the middle of. The most alarming part about all the violence and crime in Arizona is that it is only going to get worse as more illegals creep in, more people lose their jobs and houses, and the meth use continues to rise. It is quite the situation out here and it is definitely not the same everywhere else.

Still think Arizona is exactly or close to being like anywhere else? Think again.

If you’ve kept up with this blog and many of the reader comments, then you’ve surely seen just how many times we’ve read somebody’s story about how his or her quality of life was turned upside down upon relocating to Arizona. A lot of people get suckered into moving out here with the false claims of nice weather, cheap homes, ton of activities, great & plentiful jobs, and a high quality of life. People are easily fooled when they see the palm trees, sunny skies, pools, and nicely manicured golf courses on their TVs or in Arizona relocation guides. Unfortunately, move out here for just a week or two and you will quickly realize that you are really in for a unique and unpleasant treat. Arizona is one of those rare places where you can try your hardest to make the most of it, and you will still be left feeling worn out, defeated, misplaced, disgusted, and just sick to your stomach. There’s just something about this place and it’s scorching weather, discouraging landscape, horrifying crimes, monotony, and lack of opportunity that will really get you down and will keep you down until you can finally escape.

Many, many people have reported moving to Arizona and realizing just how unfriendly and lacking the job market really is out here. There are NO good jobs out here – well, of course there are a few but you probably aren’t going to be fortunate enough to land one of these positions. There was an abundance of fast food, retail, landscaping, call center, and other ’strip mall jobs’ in recent years. However, as it became more clear that Arizona was greatly overbuilt in the past few years, the number of these jobs are on the decline while the number of applicants is on the rise. Not a good situation for you if you had dreamed of moving to Arizona and introducing yourself to the fast-paced world of Wendys. It might already be pretty clear to a lot of people, but I cannot stress enough that nobody should ever move to Arizona to look for a job or even with a job offer in hand. You might wonder why it might be a bad idea to move to Arizona even with a job already lined up, but the answer could not be simpler. It is not worth the risk or the hassle of relocating to Arizona. If you move out here even with a great job and get laid off, it will be next to impossible to find a similar position out here. You will be forced to relocate once again or take a huge pay cut with another organization out here. That’s certainly no fun and Arizona does have some of the lowest unemployment benefits in the country should you need to file a claim. Don’t be fooled by news reports and talk of Arizona having a hot job market – it certainly doesn’t now and probably never will.

You probably thought it was bad enough when you moved to Arizona and you couldn’t find work or were stuck taking a position far below your skill level. Once you landed a job somewhere and somehow out here, you probably had the pleasure of dealing with commuting and just driving out here in general. You soon realized one day as you were driving to your dead end job, just how terrible all the construction, traffic and the drivers are out here. Other states may have more traffic, but Arizona certainly has some of the worst drivers in the country. Arizona drivers are famous for driving drunk, driving in the left lane, cutting off others, having no concept of merging, blocking people who need to get past them, not signaling, throwing caution & trash out the window, running red lights seconds after the signal change, and just about anything else you can imagine. Living in Arizona will allow you to witness some of the worst accidents you have seen in your life and the opportunity to sit in the subsequent traffic backups. Driving in Arizona is a lot like playing Mario Kart, except out here you will be forced to dodge illegals, drunks, tire debris, ladders, and old mattresses. Driving in Arizona will anger, frustrate, and quite possibly kill you.

Managing to make it out of the traffic alive and into your first day of work, you encountered some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. People in Arizona are like one giant herd of sheep with no direction, no ambition, no work ethic, and piss poor attitudes. People out here don’t care about you, and you shouldn’t care about them. Most relationships in Arizona are built solely on getting ahead or taking advantage of a situation. People in Arizona who work hard and share their own ideas will only be taken advantage of. It really doesn’t matter whether you are working the drive thru or retail or with a small business or in a corporate office building in Arizona – you will still be surrounded by these worthless, uneducated, drunk cowards. And to make matters worse, it is almost always these people who manage to get ahead out here. You will NOT grow your career in Arizona and shouldn’t even bother coming out here and giving it a try.

You surely thought that even though your job and commute in Arizona was terrible enough, you can at least have a great time at home and out on the weekends. Right? C’mon now, you have a brand new house in far, far East Mesa with a pool, and you live right next to a half vacant strip mall. Life could not sound much better to the majority of these uneducated fools in Arizona. Although, you quickly realized that life in an Arizona subdivision, as well as everyone else living in Arizona will manage to piss you off in one way or another. People out here struggle with menial tasks including grocery shopping, fueling their car, checking their mail, and even walking their dog. The majority of retail and restaurant workers out here are lazy, not knowledgeable, pushy, and just unpleasant to deal with. There is no common courtesy out here and people tend to just do what they feel when they feel like doing it. From having landscaping crews show up well before the sun comes up to tying up a barking dog for hours on end to listening to awful, deafening Mexican music late into the night to people of all ages road racing down the streets of your subdivision – you WILL encounter it all in Arizona. People in Arizona will drag you down to their level and at some point you will probably just give up and take it. The longer you spend in Arizona, it becomes more and more likely that you will be that jackass who is out with a chainsaw at 5AM, drunk, naked, and cutting down that dead palm tree in your yard. Don’t let it happen to you – leave now while you can still think rationally.

And then there’s the weather. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse out here, April arrives and so do the 100 degree days. No matter how you slice it or justify it, the fact is that the weather in Arizona is miserable for close to half the year. Don’t be fooled by the idiots who tell you there are just three hot months, and then nine months filled with the best and most beautiful weather in the world. This is not the case, was never the case, and will never be the case. Being in Arizona is close to unbearable from May to the beginning of October. The winter months are a mixture of mild and cold, but one thing is certain and that is that you won’t regularly be laying out by your pool in December like some people would like to have you believe. Tell me how a state where you are just about forced to lock yourself indoors for months on end has beautiful weather worth bragging about. The bright, hot, miserable, dusty, and lengthy Arizona summers will take a toll on your mental and physical health.

You really can try your hardest to make living in Arizona work for you. You can do the opposite of everyone else in Arizona and be friendly, work hard, go out and see what Arizona has to offer, think for yourself, drink in moderation, and strive to get ahead. Unfortunately, you will quickly realize that it is all for nothing as you sit in a dead end job and fail to build any true friendships or meaningful relationships out here. Arizona will quickly turn even the best of people into depressed, worthless, demotivated zombies who look, think, and act like everyone else. Try and justify it all you want but there is no reason for settling down out here. Ever thought your life couldn’t get any worse? Come to Arizona because it can and it will. How quick did you experience the downturn in quality of life since moving to Arizona? The first week?

Well, if the terrible weather, growing illegal population, increasing crime, worsening traffic conditions, declining economy, pathetic school system, kidnappings galore, and surprisingly low number of jobs available wasn’t enough to keep you out of one of the most unsafe and depressing states in the entire country… Now, you can rest assured knowing that even your luggage is not safe whenever you are fortunate enough to be flying back into Phoenix. That’s right – another baggage thief has been arrested for stealing luggage from Phoenix’s own Sky Harbor International Airport. In case you missed the news, there was another separate arrest back in November of last year for over 1000 pieces of luggage. And I’m certain these two arrests aren’t just isolated incidents, but just the only two who have managed to get caught thus far. At Sky Harbor, anyone can walk right in and walk right out of the baggage claim areas with zero questions asked. Security is minimal at best at Sky Harbor and surely baggage theft happens a lot more often than it should. It is a pretty bad situation for travelers when the security count is already so low, and the ones who are ‘working’ are often seen chatting with others, standing around, reading the paper, or just dicking around. Would it be too much to ask to have them at least pay attention to what is going on around them?

Obviously, the chance that your luggage actually gets stolen is pretty minimal. In fact, if you live and work in the state of Arizona you probably can’t afford anything worth stealing anyways. (Quick tip: if you plan on stealing luggage from Sky Harbor, you probably want to target the luggage belonging to out-of-state passengers.) The main point I am getting at here is to point out the desperation acts which have been and are still on the rise across Arizona. Arizona is famous for its dangerous combination of limited jobs, uneducated and under-qualified job applicants, drug addicts, and overpopulation. Thousands upon thousands of people in Arizona are either unemployed or underemployed due to the lack of jobs in the area or a lack of education. People are desperate. In fact, people are really desperate out here and will do unheard of crimes just to make ends meet or to get their fix. It really is a lethal combination and everyone in Arizona ends up suffering.

When you live in a city full of uneducated meth heads who have no respect for anyone, crimes like this are going to happen. Arizona is one of the few spots in the country where people will steal luggage, shoot the elderly on a morning stroll, kill a family’s dog, and rob the Girl Scouts of their cookies just to try and make a quick buck. Be careful out there. Crime is going up in Arizona, and the number of police officers out there is going down. Great idea, isn’t it? Nah…

In case you missed it, the Associated Press just put out an article titled, ‘People in Sunny States Happiest, New York Least’. The article went on to state that people in sunny and outdoorsy states are among the happiest in the country. People are supposedly most happy in states with good climates, low crime rates, good air quality, and good schools. All of these factors makes perfect sense to me except for one small part of the article. How in the world does a state filled with crime, extreme temperatures, illegals, piss poor schools, no jobs, and nothing to do but drink to excess rank fifth in the entire country? That’s right, Arizona has been ranked in the top five states with the happiest people.

The only thing Arizona even comes close to having on the ‘happiness checklist’ is abundant sunshine and more often than not the sunshine is filtered through the brown cloud which is just about permanently planted over the Phoenix area these days. If you have considered moving to Arizona for the sunshine or the supposed glorious weather, remember just this one thing. Abundant sunshine isn’t going to pay your bills and it surely isn’t going to stop your children from being robbed at gun point while on the school bus.

Arizona is not an outdoorsy state and there really aren’t many exciting outdoor activities if that is your thing, especially so in the Phoenix metropolitan area. The main outdoor activity in Arizona is hiking and that can only be done safely for about half of the year or so. The most popular outdoor activity amongst most Arizonans is getting plowed outside on a bar’s patio.

You’d be an idiot to think a state full of uneducated degenerates and illegals is going to have low crime rates. The crime in Arizona has been continually on the rise and it is only going to get worse. Not to mention the crimes in this state are truly like something out of a horror movie.

The brown cloud and the traffic backups speaks enough for the air quality in Arizona. While, Arizona’s dead last ranking in public education tells the whole story of Arizona’s education system. Remember, it doesn’t matter if you think you are in a good school district – your kids are still far behind the rest of the country.

In the end, it couldn’t be more obvious that the writer of this article has never been to and has certainly not lived in Arizona, but this ranking is still worth a laugh especially for those of us who know the truth about Arizona and aren’t living in some sort of fantasy state of mind. Share your thoughts about Arizona’s ranking below.

Merry Christmas!

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-12-18-happiest-states_N.htm

It is just about the middle of September, and a quick look at the 10 day forecast for the Phoenix area shows highs over 100 degrees for the next week and a half. Night time lows have finally dipped into the 70s, but it is still quite hot during the days here. A lot of people who get suckered in to moving to Phoenix are often quite shocked when they realize it will still be October, and we are still fighting with temperatures that do top the 100 degree mark. It probably isn’t until near the end of October, that you can really say goodbye to the extreme heat in Arizona for a few months.

A lot of people are use to summers that only average about three months per year. It can be quite frightening when you move here and realize that the summers in Arizona not only last at least two months longer than your typical summer elsewhere, but the summers here are that much hotter and just downright boring. Surviving an Arizona summer year after year is really not something to take lightly – it really does affect the millions of residents out here and it shows especially on the road, at work, in restaurants, and at the store. The summers out here are nothing but vicious and it absolutely will take its toll on you if you choose to suffer through summer after summer out here. Just imagine having to lock yourself indoors for nearly six months a year – it is too out to be outside, and many days it is downright unsafe to be outside. If you have children, you really have no choice but to keep them indoors and many just put them in front of the television all day. Arizona summers tend to bring out the worst in people and just an all around feeling of disgust.

Many outsiders are use to looking forward to summer and the warmer weather, outdoor activities, the summer holidays, and barbecues with family. In Arizona, you pretty much spend your summers stuck inside wanting to blow your head off. And somehow a lot of Arizona residents still think the weather out here is worth bragging about for nine months a year. I know we have a ton of meth heads, alcoholics, and pill poppers in Arizona, but, really, what are these people on?

In case you missed it or are fortunate enough to be outside of the Phoenix area, a local Arizona news station ran a piece last week about how life out in Arizona might be portrayed to the rest of the country. Viewers were left to ponder the question of whether or not the state of Arizona has a national image problem. Surprisingly enough, this is a great example of the typical Arizona attitude for you – instead of considering what the necessary steps are to begin fixing the multitude of problems currently plaguing the state and its millions of residents, even the news stations out here are more concerned with only how Arizona and its people LOOK to the National eye. With that being said, it is pretty clear to most people these days that Arizona does have an increasing image problem because the truth about Arizona has been exposed as the population growth went way up in recent years, and also as a result of the mortgage fraud and subsequent real estate meltdown out here in the last few years. Here are just a couple of Arizona’s many problems grabbing attention in the national spotlight:

Worst school systems in the country – that’s right, every single other state around the country outranks Arizona when it comes to public schooling. Education is not valued in Arizona and this certainly affects all facets of life out here from the workplace to the grocery store to eating out at a restaurant. You can continue to make excuses, move your children to another Arizona school district, or even continue lying to yourself – it does not matter though – you are putting your children’s safety and future at risk by sending them to any of Arizona public schools. If you have kids or plan on having children, you really should re-evaluate settling down in Arizona at least until your children are in college.

Increasing violence and hate crimes – every single year, the violence in Arizona seems to be getting worse and increasingly more violent. Nobody wants to admit to it, but these crimes are increasing and becoming even more commonplace – and don’t think you can escape it by moving to a supposedly higher income zip code or to a gated community. Arizona boasts some of the craziest, most unbelievable crime stories that you could not even make up if you wanted to. Watch just one day of the local Arizona news and you will never want to step foot in this place again.

Weather – the one problem that can never be fixed, but it is still important to continually point out how dreadful and depressing the summers can be out here. You know the weather in Arizona is terrible when even people who are just quickly passing through on a cross-country road trip still feel the need to complain about how high the temperatures are out here. It’s never going to get any cooler in Arizona, so stay far away unless you are prepared for month-after-month of the extreme heat, and the famous Arizona dry heat argument goes right out the window when the temperatures are over 100 degrees.

Economy – what economy? Arizona population growth is dwindling, construction is way down, there were never any great jobs in Arizona, and now we have a surplus of houses and commercial buildings. How is Arizona going to turn it all around this time? Can Arizona rely on its economic growth strategy with such a poor national image? Probably not – Arizona is a retirement and winter golf state, at best, and that is all it should have ever been provided there was enough water for all this grass out here.

What it really comes down to is what does the state of Arizona have to offer you? Is it the comparatively warmer winters? Or is it all the congestion, pollution, violence, and blowing dust storms? What does Arizona offer you that you can’t find anywhere else, except for those 4-5 months of temperatures over 100 degrees? Don’t wait for Arizona to try and fix its deteriorating image – get out while you still can and still have your sanity.

Many thanks to member, Out of AZ, for recently posting this invaluable, honest look at how life really is in Arizona. I wanted to be sure everyone got a chance to read it, so enjoy!

I lived in the Phoenix area of AZ for eight years and just moved back to CO this summer. There are definitely negatives about anywhere, but there seems to be more in Phoenix than most. I’ve lived in NY, CA, CO, and NE and AZ is definitely the worst of all the places I’ve been.

For the nation’s fifth biggest city, there is absolutely nothing to do. You can go to one of 1235 shopping malls around the valley to escape the heat or go watch a movie, but you can do that anywhere in the country. You can go to an indoor baseball game if you can afford it. If you don’t have a swimming pool, your time in Phoenix will be miserable. If you do have a pool, expect crazy APS/SRP electric bills due to the pool and 24-hour air conditioning your house will need to keep it livable.

Your car will take a beating, the heat notwithstanding, but also the AZ drivers that you’ll drive defensively to avoid slamming into. Constant road construction is also a negative. There is approximately 15 miles of valley freeway closed every weekend for construction.

The job scene isn’t all that great. Not only is this place a right-to-work (more like right-to-get-fired-for-no-reason) state, the economy is heavily dependent on construction, which has all but ceased to exist right now.

There are like 21236 strip malls in Phoenix that look exactly like the 21235 others in the area. Same stores, same restaurants, same landscaping. It’s pretty hellish. And now, roughly half of most of the strip malls stand empty because of Arizona’s economy (and the broader US economy as well).

There’s no culture here. I’m not kidding. The best Mexican food here comes from chain restaurants. Or at least that’s what most Phoenicians think. Most Phoenicians love spending long weekends in Mexico but look down on Mexicans, Mexican food, and Mexican culture. Any other culture? Forget it, the best Italian food in the valley is at Olive Garden, the best Chinese is at Panda Express. For a metro area with a population over 4 million, it’s pretty pathetic.

The homes/neighborhoods/cities all look the same. Stucco brown boxes with eight tons of crushed rock in the front yard. You don’t know if you are in Ahwatukee, Tempe, Peoria or Chandler. It’s all the same.

I don’t know about public schools, I don’t have kids. But I will say that if you really think you’re going to receive a world-class education in a college with 70,000 others like at ASU or by paying tens of thousands for a degree people may or may not take seriously like at University of Phoenix, this may be a good place.

Phoenix is a waste. Truly. They waste water for miles of grass for golf courses or huge resorts. There are fountains and fake lakes everywhere. It’s great if you want to live near a body of green water so you can be eaten alive by mosquitoes. They waste electricity. How else do you justify living in a town that can get upwards of 120 degrees?

Phoenix is a demonstration of human accomplishment and hubris all at once. The fact that you can take a desolate, uninhabitable desert and turn it into the nation’s fifth-largest city shows what we can accomplish as a society. But for what purpose? So your kids can stay indoors for six months watching tv and playing video games because it’s too hot to play outside. So you can drive in your air conditioned car to your air conditioned office and back to your air conditioned home. So you can earn less money than most people doing the same job in the rest of the country. All this, with fluctuating real estate values, increasing crime, decreasing job opportunities, it’s all reason to stay out of Phoenix.