Arizona Sucks

In just a few short hours Arizona drivers will no longer have to worry about being flashed by mobile radar vans and fixed radar cameras along Arizona’s highways. That’s right – the contract with Redflex ends at 11:59 tonight and it would appear that opinions are all over the place. Long gone will be the days of having to hide behind your sun visor, wearing gorilla masks on your commute to work, dodging the process server as your tickets continue to go unpaid, decorating your license plate with sprays and foams, and no more subsequent traffic backups as everyone slams on their brakes as they roll by one of these useless cameras. Today is your last chance to get your picture taken as you drive by, so make sure you are smiling!

Redflex has warned Arizona drivers to expect a large increase in aggressive and dangerous driving on Arizona roadways once the cameras are shut down, and this is quite simply a scare tactic at best. Redflex, just like any other organization trying to churn a profit, has probably just lost a pretty significant contract and is now trying to scare Arizona’s voters into believing that radar cameras are actually needed for safer streets. Unfortunately these cameras measured one thing and one thing only – the speed of the vehicle as it passed a defined section of the highway. It is not possible for these cameras to catch drivers who are weaving in and out of traffic, tailgating, drunk, making unsafe lane changes, or multi-tasking with a phone in one hand, cigarette in the other, and a dog between their legs. Overly aggressive, inattentive, and imprudent drivers are the root cause of the majority of accidents on Arizona streets. Speed is definitely going to be a factor if there is a crash, but to say that speeding alone causes more accidents is just ill-advised.

It is no secret that Arizona drivers are appalling and we have some of the most unsafe roadways in the nation. However, the majority of accidents are not the result of speeding which is the only attribute recorded by these cameras. Radar cameras are the not the answer – really what it comes down to is more officers on our highways who can remove those drivers who are making the roads unsafe for us all.

What do you think?

After almost being taken out by a land monster merging across three lanes of traffic without even looking this morning, I knew it was time to address how piss poor Arizona drivers are once again. I can’t even begin to count how many times one of these idiots has cut me off or almost merged right into me, and then will look up from their breakfast burrito with an absolutely startled, oblivious, and blank gaze as to why I am laying on the horn. It really makes me wonder how people out here can be so clueless and unconcerned about what is going on around them while they are moving along at 70 miles per hour and maneuvering a vehicle which is far from indestructible should they hit something or someone. Put down the coffee, throw out the cigarettes, put on your makeup at home, don’t eat burritos for breakfast, stop texting, don’t drive drunk, and keep an eye on what is going on in front of you and behind you. Incompetence reigns supreme in Arizona and it is certainly no different when driving on the roads and highways out here.

The majority of the driving problems across Arizona stem from the unfortunate fact that very few in Arizona really understand the whole picture when it comes to anything. Arizona locals do not seem to grasp the fact that their awful driving affects everyone else that happens to be on the roadways and in typical Arizona fashion, most drivers are only concerned with themselves and could care less about how their driving antics might affect anyone else. Remember, if you cause an accident because you are driving like an idiot — not only did you ruin the day of the person you hit, but you also ruined it for everyone else that has to sit in the traffic catastrophe YOU created.

A few examples… if the traffic in front of you is stopped, then you probably want to start slowing down at some point. If the traffic signal in front of you just turned red, then flooring it to sit at the light will not and cannot get you to your destination any faster. Merging into someone is not an effective way of making a safe lane change. If the traffic on the highway is going 70 and you decide to merge on at 45, then there is probably going to be a problem. If highway patrol has someone pulled over on the other side of the road, you do not need to slam on your brakes because he isn’t running radar or even paying attention to you. If you are about to pass a speed camera, you do not need to slam on your brakes (unless you were way over the speed limit) and then continue to go 15 miles under the speed limit for the next 500 yards. If most everybody else happens to have their headlights on, then you probably should turn your lights on too. If you are in the left lane and someone faster comes up behind you, then you need to get over whenever it is safe to do so (and no, it doesn’t matter if you are going the speed limit or already 25 mph over). If you end up at a four way stop, the person with the most lifted truck does not get to go first. If you think driving 10-15 mph less than the rest of traffic makes you a safer driver, then you have zero idea how terribly wrong you are. If the first thing you do when you get on the highway is immediately merge all the way over to the left lane just to hang out there, then you are an idiot.

The general incompetence of Arizona’s population really shines on the roadways out here and it really is quite terrifying being surrounded by clueless locals who are navigating the equivalent of meandering missiles that are just waiting to ruin your day. Driving in Arizona is a startling experience and is best avoided as much as possible, which is certainly tough in an area where everything is so spread out and public transportation is a lost cause. I could easily put up a blog entry or two a day based on my experiences driving out here, but it would be more fun if you shared some of your stories below!

The game is officially over for so many in Arizona as we watch our population numbers continue to plunge. Arizona and so many of its residents counted on this growth and expansion to keep their jobs, businesses, and the local economy intact. The state of Arizona now has fewer people moving in, zero need for any new developments, people are running out of money, businesses are closing their doors, and jobs are running dry. This downturn in population growth has hurt a number of industries and has put a number of construction workers, Realtors, mortgage/loan consultants, strip mall, and restaurant workers out of work with nowhere to turn to in this beaten Arizona economy. Maybe, just maybe people are starting to wise up to the fact that Arizona is not a tropical paradise, but really a dusty, lackluster, hopeless, dreadful, terrifying, dead end place where you never want to find yourself. A few lurking surprises will await you should you choose to relocate yourself to a life out here in the sweltering desert, and these could just be a few of the reasons people are now saying NO to Arizona.

Traffic / Drivers / Congestion – the huge population surge in recent years has absolutely hammered Arizona freeways and surface streets. Most of the major roadways in Arizona were built far before the extreme population growth and have been at max capacity for quite some time. Travel around much of the Phoenix area is a mess right now especially during the rush hour, in construction zones, or whenever there is another accident. And in Phoenix, there are a lot of accidents. It is pretty much a fact that Arizona roadways just are not a safe place to be and you will witness this every single time you get in your car. You are guaranteed to see some of the most bizarre accidents and driving techniques while driving around Arizona. It doesn’t help that everything in Arizona is so spread out and driving is an absolute necessity to go anywhere or do anything. Most people live so far away from their jobs that it creates long, hot, and treacherous, commutes for the majority of residents out here. Of course, it is completely expected that a city the size of Phoenix will have some traffic and congestion concerns. However, it is the toxic amalgamation of drunk, illegal, inexperienced, aged, incompetent, and otherwise terrifying drivers out here that is really the icing on the cake, and will make you really wish the next time you got in your car that you were driving out of Arizona forever!

Low wages / Lack of jobs – we get it, a lot of Arizona Natives are perfectly content working in dead end jobs with no advancement and minimal pay. However, Arizona organizations are not going to attract or retain solid employees with this mindless business model. It has become shockingly clear to people just how poor the job market is in Arizona and people have stopped moving here looking for work because of this. People are not going to move to Arizona to make 30K (and often even less) while working in call centers, fast food restaurants, or mailing out DVDs. The lack of real, good jobs is going to keep the bright, educated, and innovative people out of Arizona unless there is a significant turnaround at some point. There is a reason that get-rich-quick, pyramid schemes, selling magazines door-to-door, and other scams are so popular across metropolitan Phoenix – the majority of jobs out here pay at the high school level no matter what your education or experience level may be.

Crime – in a big city, crime is certainly expected. In Phoenix, crime is running rampant and seems to be getting worse every year. Shootings, armed robberies, mail theft, drugs, property damage, stolen cars, rape, senseless killings, child abductions, hit-and-runs, human smuggling – you name it, we have it in Arizona and it is probably flourishing in your own neighborhood. You may have heard otherwise, but the crime in the Phoenix and Tucson areas appears to be on the rise and can only get worse as the desperation continues out here. Sadly, it has really become a question of when, and not if something will happen to you. Everyone in Arizona is a target at this point, even those who most of us look at as having just about nothing left. Have a car, a house, a MP3 player, a case of Ice House beer, a watch, a pack of cigarettes, or maybe just a dollar in change – you are next. It is only in Arizona that you will regularly hear these mind-boggling violent news stories that even the most fanatical Hollywood writers could never even dream up. In other words, you can’t make this shit up.

Phoenix, Arizona – it’s affordable for a reason!!

If you’ve kept up with this blog and many of the reader comments, then you’ve surely seen just how many times we’ve read somebody’s story about how his or her quality of life was turned upside down upon relocating to Arizona. A lot of people get suckered into moving out here with the false claims of nice weather, cheap homes, ton of activities, great & plentiful jobs, and a high quality of life. People are easily fooled when they see the palm trees, sunny skies, pools, and nicely manicured golf courses on their TVs or in Arizona relocation guides. Unfortunately, move out here for just a week or two and you will quickly realize that you are really in for a unique and unpleasant treat. Arizona is one of those rare places where you can try your hardest to make the most of it, and you will still be left feeling worn out, defeated, misplaced, disgusted, and just sick to your stomach. There’s just something about this place and it’s scorching weather, discouraging landscape, horrifying crimes, monotony, and lack of opportunity that will really get you down and will keep you down until you can finally escape.

Many, many people have reported moving to Arizona and realizing just how unfriendly and lacking the job market really is out here. There are NO good jobs out here – well, of course there are a few but you probably aren’t going to be fortunate enough to land one of these positions. There was an abundance of fast food, retail, landscaping, call center, and other ’strip mall jobs’ in recent years. However, as it became more clear that Arizona was greatly overbuilt in the past few years, the number of these jobs are on the decline while the number of applicants is on the rise. Not a good situation for you if you had dreamed of moving to Arizona and introducing yourself to the fast-paced world of Wendys. It might already be pretty clear to a lot of people, but I cannot stress enough that nobody should ever move to Arizona to look for a job or even with a job offer in hand. You might wonder why it might be a bad idea to move to Arizona even with a job already lined up, but the answer could not be simpler. It is not worth the risk or the hassle of relocating to Arizona. If you move out here even with a great job and get laid off, it will be next to impossible to find a similar position out here. You will be forced to relocate once again or take a huge pay cut with another organization out here. That’s certainly no fun and Arizona does have some of the lowest unemployment benefits in the country should you need to file a claim. Don’t be fooled by news reports and talk of Arizona having a hot job market – it certainly doesn’t now and probably never will.

You probably thought it was bad enough when you moved to Arizona and you couldn’t find work or were stuck taking a position far below your skill level. Once you landed a job somewhere and somehow out here, you probably had the pleasure of dealing with commuting and just driving out here in general. You soon realized one day as you were driving to your dead end job, just how terrible all the construction, traffic and the drivers are out here. Other states may have more traffic, but Arizona certainly has some of the worst drivers in the country. Arizona drivers are famous for driving drunk, driving in the left lane, cutting off others, having no concept of merging, blocking people who need to get past them, not signaling, throwing caution & trash out the window, running red lights seconds after the signal change, and just about anything else you can imagine. Living in Arizona will allow you to witness some of the worst accidents you have seen in your life and the opportunity to sit in the subsequent traffic backups. Driving in Arizona is a lot like playing Mario Kart, except out here you will be forced to dodge illegals, drunks, tire debris, ladders, and old mattresses. Driving in Arizona will anger, frustrate, and quite possibly kill you.

Managing to make it out of the traffic alive and into your first day of work, you encountered some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. People in Arizona are like one giant herd of sheep with no direction, no ambition, no work ethic, and piss poor attitudes. People out here don’t care about you, and you shouldn’t care about them. Most relationships in Arizona are built solely on getting ahead or taking advantage of a situation. People in Arizona who work hard and share their own ideas will only be taken advantage of. It really doesn’t matter whether you are working the drive thru or retail or with a small business or in a corporate office building in Arizona – you will still be surrounded by these worthless, uneducated, drunk cowards. And to make matters worse, it is almost always these people who manage to get ahead out here. You will NOT grow your career in Arizona and shouldn’t even bother coming out here and giving it a try.

You surely thought that even though your job and commute in Arizona was terrible enough, you can at least have a great time at home and out on the weekends. Right? C’mon now, you have a brand new house in far, far East Mesa with a pool, and you live right next to a half vacant strip mall. Life could not sound much better to the majority of these uneducated fools in Arizona. Although, you quickly realized that life in an Arizona subdivision, as well as everyone else living in Arizona will manage to piss you off in one way or another. People out here struggle with menial tasks including grocery shopping, fueling their car, checking their mail, and even walking their dog. The majority of retail and restaurant workers out here are lazy, not knowledgeable, pushy, and just unpleasant to deal with. There is no common courtesy out here and people tend to just do what they feel when they feel like doing it. From having landscaping crews show up well before the sun comes up to tying up a barking dog for hours on end to listening to awful, deafening Mexican music late into the night to people of all ages road racing down the streets of your subdivision – you WILL encounter it all in Arizona. People in Arizona will drag you down to their level and at some point you will probably just give up and take it. The longer you spend in Arizona, it becomes more and more likely that you will be that jackass who is out with a chainsaw at 5AM, drunk, naked, and cutting down that dead palm tree in your yard. Don’t let it happen to you – leave now while you can still think rationally.

And then there’s the weather. Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse out here, April arrives and so do the 100 degree days. No matter how you slice it or justify it, the fact is that the weather in Arizona is miserable for close to half the year. Don’t be fooled by the idiots who tell you there are just three hot months, and then nine months filled with the best and most beautiful weather in the world. This is not the case, was never the case, and will never be the case. Being in Arizona is close to unbearable from May to the beginning of October. The winter months are a mixture of mild and cold, but one thing is certain and that is that you won’t regularly be laying out by your pool in December like some people would like to have you believe. Tell me how a state where you are just about forced to lock yourself indoors for months on end has beautiful weather worth bragging about. The bright, hot, miserable, dusty, and lengthy Arizona summers will take a toll on your mental and physical health.

You really can try your hardest to make living in Arizona work for you. You can do the opposite of everyone else in Arizona and be friendly, work hard, go out and see what Arizona has to offer, think for yourself, drink in moderation, and strive to get ahead. Unfortunately, you will quickly realize that it is all for nothing as you sit in a dead end job and fail to build any true friendships or meaningful relationships out here. Arizona will quickly turn even the best of people into depressed, worthless, demotivated zombies who look, think, and act like everyone else. Try and justify it all you want but there is no reason for settling down out here. Ever thought your life couldn’t get any worse? Come to Arizona because it can and it will. How quick did you experience the downturn in quality of life since moving to Arizona? The first week?

Well, if the terrible weather, growing illegal population, increasing crime, worsening traffic conditions, declining economy, pathetic school system, kidnappings galore, and surprisingly low number of jobs available wasn’t enough to keep you out of one of the most unsafe and depressing states in the entire country… Now, you can rest assured knowing that even your luggage is not safe whenever you are fortunate enough to be flying back into Phoenix. That’s right – another baggage thief has been arrested for stealing luggage from Phoenix’s own Sky Harbor International Airport. In case you missed the news, there was another separate arrest back in November of last year for over 1000 pieces of luggage. And I’m certain these two arrests aren’t just isolated incidents, but just the only two who have managed to get caught thus far. At Sky Harbor, anyone can walk right in and walk right out of the baggage claim areas with zero questions asked. Security is minimal at best at Sky Harbor and surely baggage theft happens a lot more often than it should. It is a pretty bad situation for travelers when the security count is already so low, and the ones who are ‘working’ are often seen chatting with others, standing around, reading the paper, or just dicking around. Would it be too much to ask to have them at least pay attention to what is going on around them?

Obviously, the chance that your luggage actually gets stolen is pretty minimal. In fact, if you live and work in the state of Arizona you probably can’t afford anything worth stealing anyways. (Quick tip: if you plan on stealing luggage from Sky Harbor, you probably want to target the luggage belonging to out-of-state passengers.) The main point I am getting at here is to point out the desperation acts which have been and are still on the rise across Arizona. Arizona is famous for its dangerous combination of limited jobs, uneducated and under-qualified job applicants, drug addicts, and overpopulation. Thousands upon thousands of people in Arizona are either unemployed or underemployed due to the lack of jobs in the area or a lack of education. People are desperate. In fact, people are really desperate out here and will do unheard of crimes just to make ends meet or to get their fix. It really is a lethal combination and everyone in Arizona ends up suffering.

When you live in a city full of uneducated meth heads who have no respect for anyone, crimes like this are going to happen. Arizona is one of the few spots in the country where people will steal luggage, shoot the elderly on a morning stroll, kill a family’s dog, and rob the Girl Scouts of their cookies just to try and make a quick buck. Be careful out there. Crime is going up in Arizona, and the number of police officers out there is going down. Great idea, isn’t it? Nah…

First things first – there is absolutely nothing wrong with bike riding whether you do it for fitness, pleasure, to save on gas, or because your car recently got repossessed. However…

The fact is that riding a bike on Arizona roadways is really not a smart decision, whether you can manage to keep yourself in the bike lane or not. With Arizona being a state where the majority of people don’t even feel safe in their own cars, I really have to wonder about where the common sense is when I see people who willingly choose to ride a bicycle on Arizona’s busy roadways. You would think the terribly hot weather for most of the year and the amount of pollution precipitates would be enough of a deterrent to keep people from biking on the roads. But somehow it will be 110 degrees outside and you still see these idiots peddling down the road. It also doesn’t sound like the smartest idea to try and share the road with the amount of terribly reckless or drunk drivers we have around the state at all hours of the day. With all these potential dangers on Arizona’s roads, you really got to give it to those bikers who brave the roadways with no helmet on or the ones on the cell phone with a cigarette in their other hand.

Some cities in Arizona have done their best to paint themselves as having biker friendly streets by putting in a limited amount of bike lanes. It is important to note that these lane designations are often ignored by both auto drivers and the cyclists. It is an all too common occurrence to see or read about an Arizona cyclist being taken out because somebody wasn’t paying attention, failed to stay in his or her lane, or ignored the rules of the road. A lot of cyclists seem to think none of the driving rules apply to them and I frequently see them running stop signs/red lights or driving the wrong way or holding up traffic one way or another. Of course, most drivers in Arizona don’t really follow any of the rules of driving a car or use any common sense either. It is no excuse for unsafe driving, but if you do something stupid with your car, you are at least reasonably protected. One mistake on your bike and you’re dead.

So, Arizona cyclists, how the hell do you do it? Have you been hit yet or almost hit? It will happen and it won’t be pretty, so best of luck to you.

Just a few years ago, there were so many in Arizona who didn’t have a complaint in the world except for the hot weather, the abundance of rude people, and a severe lack of anything to do. Homes were selling quicker than they could go up, Arizona Realtors were making unheard of commissions, and others were successfully flipping home after home to out of state investors. The construction industry was moving right along and there were tons of new construction jobs and retail/service jobs in the endless communities which shot up around Phoenix. Just about everywhere you looked in the Phoenix area – if there was flat, open land – there were homes or strip malls being built. Logic tells you this couldn’t go on forever, but it was as if some in Arizona were actually under the impression that everyone across the country would relocate to Arizona at some point in the near future. It is quite comical to watch this suburban sprawl in Arizona especially since everything looks exactly the same except for maybe the color of the street signs.

Community after community went up, with the adjacent strip mall, fast food restaurants, and the corner Chilis restaurant in typical Arizona fashion. As each community was built, each became increasingly farther and farther away from the central hub of downtown Phoenix – which is what I would call just about the center of this mess we call the Phoenix metropolitan area. Fortunately, few people are actually tied to the downtown area and there really isn’t shit to see or do there – maybe with the exception of the Suns and the Diamondbacks when they are having better than average seasons. However, I would wager most of your larger job centers in Arizona are within a 15-20 mile range of downtown Phoenix. What does this mean for people who bought homes in the newer communities built out in Buckeye, Queen Creek, far North Phoenix, east Mesa, Surprise, and Maricopa – long and extremely dangerous commutes if you actually have a job. If you happen to live in one of these communities and work there too, then you have really lucked out, especially by Arizona standards – you have a job, you spend less time on Arizona’s unsafe roadways, and you have access to much cheaper real estate. The question is how will these communities survive? Now that the Arizona home rush is over, less people are moving here, and home prices are back to reality – who is really going to want to live that far out from everything that some say Phoenix has to offer? What is going to happen to those communities where every other house is in foreclosure and houses have been sitting vacant for months? How low are home prices in these areas going to go?

Flipping through those relocation guides and countless brochures your Realtor sent you, will make you think Arizona is full of adventure, activities, and just plain fun. Is there really anything to do in Arizona? Of course, there is – it is really just a question of how far you have to travel and when during the year can you participate in said activity. For example, hiking can really only be done safely and comfortably for about half the year. If you can actually say you enjoy a midday hike when it is 110 out, then good luck to you. Other major destinations such as the Grand Canyon are something you really only need to see a couple times, unless you have out-of-state visitors. Sure, you can comfortably travel to Las Vegas, Mexico, and Southern California, but is that really any reason to move to Arizona? No. So, what it really boils down to in the Phoenix area is three main activities – and you can do all three virtually anywhere else in the country.

Shopping – as we all know, Arizona people love spending money they don’t have which means shopping is a popular way to spend a day. Surely, Arizona boasts a more diverse selection of shops and boutiques than your small city out in the Midwest, but it is definitely not the Beverly Hills of the southwest as many will claim. You have your standard mix of stores surrounded by the classless, overpriced, and ugly, trendy-in-Arizona places like Affliction, Tommy Bahama, Ed Hardy, and wherever they sell those awful dragon shirts men of all ages seem to be wearing out here. If you prefer to shop for clothing for your age group or for clothing with just a touch of class, you will be baffled by the selection in Arizona and may just have to resort to shopping on the Internet.

Eating Out – figures, most people in Arizona are too lazy to cook for themselves. Not to mention, most people out here could screw up Kraft Macaroni-N-Cheese and few have enough brain cells to properly microwave a meal anyways. So, regularly going out for dinner and drinks is a very popular activity out here. Of course this isn’t a bad thing, but there is a problem when you can’t afford it in the first place and when it is one of the major activities tied to the area.

Drinking – people in Arizona love their alcohol and love blacking out even more. Many in Arizona average more nights per week of binge drinking than your typical college student. It is a common sight to see a middle-aged man passed out on the pavement here, while his wife stumbles into a cab with some young, drunk frat boy. The typical Arizona got-to-look-rich attitude really shows at the bars. Grown men and women show up wearing the same style clothes as the rest of the 20-somethings. The men are adorned in wrinkled dragon shirts and bleached hair, while the women are sporting outfits that might have fit appropriately 20 years ago. And they all love yelling about how much money they are making on real estate or the stock market or their successful business and they love bragging about how drunk they are and how much alcohol they have bought that night. Reality usually sets in right about the time they stumble back to their early 90s Toyota Camry and weave their way home to their overpriced, dangerous, high-crime, lawn-chair furniture, luxury apartment in Scottsdale.

So – if you want to spend day-after-day shopping, followed by dinner at a restaurant filled with loud and obnoxious idiots, and then feel like heading out and getting absolutely hammered while showing off your new dragon t-shirt, then Arizona might just be the place for you.

Anyone who has had the pleasure of driving on one of Arizona’s highways should have a pretty good understanding of just how bad, poor, pathetic, selfish, and unsafe the majority of Arizona drivers are. I’m sure everyone could recall a number of times in which they were almost taken out, were taken out, or wanted to take someone out due to that person’s piss poor driving. There are hundreds of reasons why anyone should try and avoid driving in Arizona at all costs, but these deadbeats who park themselves in the left lane are a huge concern for everyone on Arizona’s highways. Obviously, this is not an Arizona phenomenon, but it is a major issue out here which is not properly addressed by Arizona law enforcement. Drive out here just once and you will encounter it and it will piss you off.

It should be simple enough for these people to understand why they need to switch lanes, but since this is Arizona most people probably won’t get it. If you are parked in the left lane – you are breaking the law, you are creating a safety issue, and it is not your job to monitor other drivers. If you won’t do it just to be courteous to another human being and to keep traffic flowing, you should at least do it because it is the law.

Whether it is done intentionally or not, nothing will get you fired up quite like having to pass one of these mongoloids on the right and looking over and seeing them in that typical Arizona daze. A number of these people seem to have no idea that they are holding up traffic. I frequently see one person with a lineup of 5-10 cars behind them – and, of course, these people often become stuck with no way of getting around this driver’s incompetence. If you can see other drivers in your mirrors screaming at you or you hear someone on their horn, it might be time for YOU to speed up or get over.

I don’t care if you are already going the speed limit or even 20 miles over the speed limit in the left lane – if someone comes up behind you, get out of their way.

Despite the fact that Arizona is typically a lower income state and disposable incomes are pretty much non-existent, there is a relative abundance of upscale bars, clubs, and retail stores out here. Many of these venues don’t stand the test of time out here and eventually shut down, but there are a few hanging in there. So, the real question is – who is keeping these pricey places in business and how?

Surely, it is obviously not your average Arizona resident who is spending enough money to keep these places in business – they should not be able to afford it on their meager salaries, right? Others assume it might be Arizona’s winter visitors and residents who might be helping these places stay in business and they certainly are, but not to the degree some people may think. Some people are under the impression Arizona is this mecca for wealthy vacationers and wintertime fun. Obviously, there is a rise in visitors and winter residents alike, but surely not enough to keep the economy going through the entire year. So – somebody must be spending money at these pricier places during the remainder of the year or how would they ever remain in business?

Fortunately for local business owners, Arizona residents absolutely love two things besides their weather – these two things would be looking like they are made of money and grossly misusing credit cards. And it is no coincidence that these two things absolutely go hand in hand. There are so many out in Arizona who would be completely lost and living on the street if it wasn’t for their wallet stuffed with credit cards. It is part of the Arizona culture to play the rich card as long as possible, and it is not until the credit card and repo teams come calling that most will shamefully move back to wherever it is they had come from.

What’s the easiest way to make people think you have money – in Arizona, it would be going out and spending a lot of money you don’t have. And the key here is that you have to be seen spending the money, or you have to announce it to any and everyone you know. It is a regular occurrence for these phonies to frequent classless, want-to-be-trendy, overpriced bars where they will pay ridiculous cover charges to feel important. They can’t go out drinking until after they eat out at a restaurant they can’t afford where they order drinks, appetizers, and multiple desserts. And you have to do it all in style while wearing overpriced, tacky clothing. These people love spending more than they make an hour on margaritas and questionable mixed drinks. If you are at the bar throwing down 20 dollar margaritas, you got to dress for the event – overpriced dragon warrior t-shirts, came-from-the-store-ripped jeans, and large white sunglasses are all too common no matter what the age group may be. In reality, doing any of the above really just makes you look like more of an idiot than you may actually be; it’s even worse when you do this shit when you have a spouse and kids to care for. Oh, and the only idiot you are fooling is yourself and possibly the waste-of-space waiting behind you to pay his cover charge who just happens to be wearing the same stupid dragon shirt you have on.

Even with all that being said, it is important to note that both Arizona business owners and local residents owe these characters tons of gratitude. They manage to keep a number of businesses out of the red, while providing everyone else with one form of amusement that just can’t be recreated or seen anywhere else.